Taking a deep breath, she muttered, “I tried to killher.”
I blinked up at Karlyn.
“Before she was born. I tried to kill her. She disappeared when she was born. I assumed my parents had done something with her. Adopted her out themselves. Then, Steele found me again. That was the second time; only, he’d planned for it to be the last. They beat me and left me for dead, but Jackson found me and brought me home. I was in a coma for almost a year. When I woke up, my brother hadher. I don’t know exactly how he found her; I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want her. I can’t even look at her. I hate her.”
“That’s how I feel.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m pregnant,” I whispered, afraid to say it out loud. “Kytten found out when she did my bloodwork.”
“I’ll help you,” she said. “If you want to get an abortion, I’ll go with you. I’ll hold your hand and do for you what no one did for me. You don’t have to have this baby, Grace.”
“King wants me to wait a few weeks before I decide.”
“Why?”
I looked up at Karlyn, tears in my eyes, and said, “There’s a chance it might be his. We were together the night before.”
Karlyn sat down next to me. She put her arm around my shoulders and let me cry. We sat there for what felt like hours, neither of us speaking. The only sound between us were my sobs.
“Do you want to have his child?” she asked.
I sniffed and nodded my head. “More than anything.”
“How long would you have to wait?”
“Kytten said paternity can be proven at seven weeks.”
“So, a little over a month. You would still be early enough to have an abortion. Though it will be hard emotionally.”
“You think I should wait?”
Karlyn shook her head. “I don’t think anything. It’s not my decision or even something I can give an opinion on. But ask yourself if you can live with not knowing. Five weeks isn’t a long time if you have a lifetime with a child you want. But it might feel like an eternity of wasted time if you don’t get the result you’re hoping for.”
“You’re not really helping me figure this out, you know.” I huffed out a chuckle as I wiped the tears from my cheeks.
“I know. I would have immediately had an abortion if I could. But I didn’t have a boyfriend who could have been the father. So, while I understand where you are regarding what happened in that shack. I don’t have any experience with the decision you have to make.”
“But you and Jackson are together now, and...” I let my words trail off. I didn’t know for sure if she’d experienced what I did. She didn’t seem as though she was affected the same way I was.
“I’m on birth control. I have been since I woke up. It might seem like I’m tougher than you, Grace, but I’m not. Not really. This wasn’t the first time; hell, it wasn’t even the second. There comes a point when you just shut down to trauma. When your mind and body have dealt with more than they should, everything shuts down to protect you.”
The volume of her words lowered as she finished speaking, letting me know she wasn’t as unaffected as I thought she was.
“It feels so far away,” I whispered as I tore at the grass beneath me.
“My advice.” I looked over at her, desperate for her to tell me what to do. For someone to take the decision out of my hands so I could plead ignorance. “Talk it out with King. Hear his reasons for wanting you to wait and tell him about your concerns with waiting. The world talks about the decision being the woman’s and hers alone, and in most cases, I agree. But you and King love each other. You’re committed to each other. If there is a chance this baby is wanted, wouldn’t five weeks be worth the wait?”
“Thank you, Karlyn. I know after what I told you—”
“I talked to King.” She chuckled when my eyes went wide. She’d been so quiet since she'd gotten here. At least around the men. Now I understood why. “He told me he forgave you.”
That was what he told me too, but I still had trouble believing it. I wasn’t as strong as everyone believed. I was loud, and brash, and the men thought of me as a ballbuster, but it was all fake. A defense mechanism to protect myself from being hurt.
“And Jackson?” I asked, knowing that it would kill me to come between King and his brother. I’d leave Diamond Creek before I allowed myself to be the reason his brother rejected him.
“It’s none of Jackson’s business. It was none of mine either, but without knowing my history, you wanted me to trust Jackson’s family. That said more to me about who you are as a person.”
