“Let’s call it curiosity. My mother was killed when I was a child in Russia. Both my parents were. My older brother and his friends moved us to the United States shortly after. That was nearly forty years ago now. I still miss them every day.”
“What about your brother? Where is he?”
Donna took a deep breath. “He is in New York. I haven’t seen him in almost that long either.”
“Why?” Donna looked me in the eye. There was something hidden there I recognized. I turned away. I didn’t want to know about her trauma. I didn’t want to share that with her. With anyone really.
“I ran away from him after we came here. I was afraid of him.”
I turned back, my brows pulled together. “Why? Did he have something to do with your parents’ death?” I asked, curious what other reason she would have to be afraid of the man that saved her.
“He killed my father.”
I gasped, and she rubbed my arm where her hand still sat. “He didn’t mean to. We had another brother, older than Maxim. He was the reason my parents were killed. He...” Donna took a deep breath. “He was evil. My father walked in on my oldest brother assaulting me and when they were fighting, Max made a mistake. And my father paid the price.”
“Then why were you afraid of him?” I asked.
“I was a child. All I knew was one brother hurt me, and the other killed my father. So I ran.”
“Did your brother turn out to be as bad as you thought? Is that why you haven’t seen him since?”
“For a while, yes. But then life got in the way. My story is long, and traumatic. It’s not a story that should be told without a lot of vodka.” She chuckled. “Tell me about your mom. Do you miss her?”
“Every day, but...” I looked over at Rhea, who sat with the daughters she’d lost and then recently found, and the granddaughter she never knew.
“But?” Donna pressed.
“Something happened recently, and it’s made me remember things about my mom I’d forgotten. Or maybe I just ignored.” I shrugged.
I looked over at Haizley, who was talking with Karlyn. I wondered if they were talking about what had happened to us. Well, to me. I didn’t even know for sure if anything had happened to Karlyn. We hadn’t spoken since we came back.
I was afraid to talk to her. Afraid of what she’d say. What she’d see inside me. Karlyn had the power to pull King away from me. If she didn’t like me, Jackson wouldn’t like me. I wouldn’t ask King to choose between me and his brother. Could they see the darkness that I shared with my mother? I knew it was there. The more I remembered about my mother, the more I realized she wasn’t the woman I thought she was.
“Grace, we can’t always stop the things that happen in life. Sometimes we just have to make a choice.”
“We aren’t always given a choice,” I muttered. I wasn’t given a choice to be taken, to be raped, to be pushed off a motherfucking waterfall. And I wasn’t given a choice to live after.
“Are you a victim or a survivor, Grace?”
I jerked my head around to Donna, my eyes narrowing. “I was a victim,” I hissed.
“Yes, but what are you now?”
“What?”
“What are you now, Grace? You have a choice to make. You can live the rest of your life being a victim. Focusing on all the bad shit that has happened to you. Wallowing in the guilt and shame that comes along with it. Or you can be a survivor. You can drown in the rain, or you can let it baptize you. You can lean on your experience like a crutch, letting everyone who sees you know exactly what happened so they feel sorry for you. Or you can wear that shit like a crown and shout it from the rooftops that you survived.”
“What would you know about it?” I pulled my arm away and crossed them over my chest. How dare this woman, this stranger, try and tell me how to live. She didn’t know what I’d gone through.
She was a child when she was hurt. She’d had decades to deal with what had happened to her.
Donna chuckled and shook her head. “James’ first wife had a brother. He made my life hell. You have no idea of the shit I’ve survived. Torment, rape, captivity. You name it, I’ve been through it. And not just me. My children. My daughter especially. She’s been to hell and back. And she survived. She made it to the other side with the help of her husband and her family. I wasn’t there for any of it, but her strength amazes me every day.”
“Why weren’t you there?”
“That brother I mentioned. His name was Vain. He was the president of a club, and he wanted me, so he decided to take me. Only, I got out first. I had to let my children believe I was dead in order to be safe. It was a decision I didn’t make lightly, but onethat I still regret. No matter how bad the alternative would have been.”
“The men who hurt me are dead. I don’t have to hide.”
