“I’m going to go into the bathroom and change.”
“Okay, baby.”
As soon as the door closed behind her, I stripped off all my clothes except for my boxers. I climbed into bed and put my arms above my head like I had done for the last two nights and waited for her.
I heard the water turn on, and I groaned as I thought about her naked in the shower.
“Settle down, boy. You aren’t getting anything tonight. Or probably anytime soon.” I sighed. “Maybe never,” I said out loud, knowing Grace couldn’t hear the disappointment in my voice.
A life without sex would suck. But I’d gotten a taste of her twice before her world fell apart. I would just have to survive on the memory of that and the palm of my hand. I’d done it for almost three fucking years. What was another fifty?
As I willed my dick to deflate, the bathroom door opened, and Grace stepped out in my T-shirt. In only my T-shirt, and I wondered if anyone had actually ever died from blue balls. I might be the first.
I pulled my knee up so she couldn’t see the tent my cock had made with the blanket. My bed was bigger than the one in her room. Maybe I’d actually get some sleep tonight. I could stay on my side and not touch her.
Grace climbed under the blankets and lay on her side facing me.
“Can I still touch you?”
“Of course, baby.”
She scooted closer and instead of placing her hand on my side, she’d positioned herself almost against me so she could place her hand on my heart. I covered her hand with mine and asked, “Is this okay?”
She nodded and closed her eyes. It was only a moment or two before she was fast asleep. I kept my hand on hers and closed my eyes, praying I stayed still while I slept.
Chapter Forty-Two
Grace
I stretched as my body woke up. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept so soundly. So deeply. It had only been a few days, but every time I closed my eyes, he was there. Hovering over me. Whispering to me. I guess my body had just given out.
I didn’t dream last night. Not of that anyway. I dreamed of King. Of the life we could have had. Going to sleep with him every night and waking up with him every morning.
I was still dreaming. I didn’t want to wake up. I was lost between the dream and real life, where I was still lying on his chest, feeling his warm skin under my cheek. I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent.
Wait!
My fingers tapped. My eyes flew open, and I sat up. He was staring at me. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?” he asked with a smile.
I shook my head and climbed out of bed. I heard his sigh as I closed myself behind the bathroom door. I turned on the water and undressed. My hand jerked back when I tested the temperature, and Sam’s words rolled through my head.
“Grace, that’s too hot.”
I stared at the knob. I knew it was too hot, but even the scalding water wasn’t enough to burn away the memories.
But King did!
I closed my eyes tightly. Did he? How long had I been wrapped around him while I slept? Was that why the nightmaresdidn’t come? Did he keep me safe? I felt safe. Until I woke up and he was watching me. Searching my eyes for something I couldn’t find myself.
Something that wasn’t there anymore.
Bullshit!
It wasn’t bullshit. What happened to me broke me. The way it broke my mother. She was never the same after that. I loved her, but she’d changed. She was different.
I couldn’t even put into words how she changed. But there was always something bubbling beneath the surface. She tried to hide it from me. But it was there. I saw it when she didn’t know I was looking.
