“You can all go back to your babies. I’ve got her.”
“King—”
“Haizley, don’t. I appreciate what you want to do, but I am not leaving her. I’m not for one fucking second letting her think I’m not here. What happened hasn’t changed a fucking thing about the way I feel about her.”
“Just go slow, okay?”
I imagined him nodding when he didn’t respond. The girls left, and I heard the door close, followed by the snick of the lock.
“I know you’re awake, baby.” I didn’t answer him. I listened as he moved around the room. All of my senses were hyperaware now. I heard the way his cut slipped off his shoulders and the thump as he laid it on the dresser. Next was his belt buckle, and my body tensed. “I’m just getting undressed to lie down withyou. My boxers are staying on, baby, and I’ll leave my shirt on too.”
“No,” I whispered. “Take your shirt off.”
His boots thunked on the ground as he kicked them off; a moment later he was lifting the blanket to crawl in next to me. He lay on his back and put his arm behind his head.
“Whenever you’re ready, Grace.”
I stared at his chest. Would I ever be ready? I wanted so badly to scoot closer and lay my head against his skin and listen to his heartbeat. But would that be setting me up for more heartache later? If I let myself rely on him, let myself pull from his strength, how much worse would it be later on?
“Stop thinking about tomorrow, Grace. What do you want right now?” He didn’t push me to answer. He lay there with his eyes closed and his arm up, waiting for me to decide. I scooted forward slowly. My fingertips brushed his side and his body stiffened, causing me to yank my hand back.
“Baby, I was startled, that’s all. You can touch me all you want. I’ll lie here as long as you need and keep my hands to myself.”
I bit my lip and tentatively reached out again. I placed my hand flat against his side. It was all I could do. I just needed to feel him. Know he was real, and that he was here. That he hadn’t left me, not yet.
“Do you know what happened?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “Did you see the video?”
His body stiffened for a fraction of a second before he relaxed, and I knew then, nothing would ever be the same. “I know, baby. You don’t have to talk about it. You don’t have to tell me anything until you’re ready. And if you’re never ready, then you’re never ready. Nothing has changed.”
“Everything has changed,” I said, repeating his words from the day before when we argued. It was all we ever did. Our entirerelationship, what we had of one, was built on the way we fought with each other.
“The circumstances may have changed,” he said, repeating my words back. “But the way I feel about you, the way I love you, hasn’t. And it never fucking will.”
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that he could look at me and not see what they did. We lay together in silence. My hand flat against his ribs, his arms above his head. He was giving me a little piece of security. This small sense of comfort.
He would never know what it meant to me. How much just the warmth of skin beneath my fingertips would be enough to give me the peace I needed to finally drift off to sleep.
Chapter Thirty-Five
King
I hadn’t slept a wink, afraid to move. Afraid I’d startle her as she slept. Hearing her whimper in the night broke me into a million pieces. There was nothing I could do to comfort her. Her fingers dug into my side as each nightmare tore through her subconscious.
Each time she woke, I kept my eyes closed and my breathing even. Each time she woke, she would move her hand a little more. Feeling me, as if searching for a lifeline. I was so fucking happy it was me. I was her lifeline. I was the one she reached for, even if I couldn’t reach back.
Not yet.
I hadn’t needed Haizley to tell me to go slow. I’d seen the fucking picture. Seen what they’d done to her. And there was a video. A video no one fucking told me about. That was the tension in church yesterday. It wasn’t just about Grace and Karlyn being taken. They all fucking knew and didn’t say a goddamn word.
“Why are you angry?”
I didn’t think; I reached down and covered her hand with mine. ‘’m not angry, baby.” Her fingers tensed, and I pulled back. “I’m sorry, Grace. It’s so hard not to fucking touch you. I just want to pull you close and hold you until it all goes away.”
“It doesn’t work that way, King.”
She hadn’t moved her hand, and I counted it as a win.
“I know,” I whispered. I hesitated a moment before I said, “I’m scared, Grace.”
