As the southern California scenery flashed by, Colette knew she’d be happy if she never visited here again. For her, California would never evoke memories of sunny days and sandy beaches. It would always be the place where her heart had been broken. Too many memories, the good ones as painful as the bad.
It took them only minutes to arrive at the hospital. Amanda sat in the waiting room while Colette, carrying Brook, went to Hank’s room.
Hank dwarfed the hospital bed, looking too fit, too vital, for a man who’d been so recently shot. His gaze was focused out the window, away from where she stood. She paused just inside the doorway and took a moment to drink in his features, impress them in her mind, knowing her memories would be all of him she’d carry back to Cheyenne, her memories and his child.
“Hi,” she said, her voice husky with suppressed emotion.
He turned and looked at her, as always his gaze dark, giving nothing away of his emotions. “I figured you’d be on your way back home by now.”
“I am…I just stopped to say goodbye before going to the airport.”
“Goodbye,” he said, and turned his head away from her.
Anger swept through Colette, rich and full, momentarily muting any pain. “That’s it?” She walkedover to the side of his bed and stared at him in disbelief. “That’s all you have to say to me after everything we’ve shared?”
He turned back to look at her. “What should I say? I’m glad your ordeal is over. With Collier dead you no longer have anything to worry about.” He winced and pushed a button that caused the head of the bed to rise. “I never made any promises.”
“If you believe that, you’re a fool,” Colette exclaimed. She bit the inside of her mouth, trying to maintain control and not allow emotions to overwhelm her. “Hank, you didn’t have to mouth words to make a promise. It was in your eyes, in your kiss.”
“You mistook passion for promise,” he countered, his gaze not quite reaching hers.
“I don’t think so.” She moved closer to the side of his bed and shifted Brook from one arm to the other. “Are you telling me Brook was conceived in lust…not love? Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me?”
As Colette said the words, she knew this was why she’d had to see Hank before she left. She had to know if her memories of love were true, or if the love she’d felt from him had only been a fantasy…the need of a little girl wishing for a prince beneath a twisted tree.
For a long moment his gaze held hers, and in his eyes she saw the answer. Euphoric joy swept through her as she recognized love. “I knew it,” she breathed softly. “You do love me.”
“Colette, it doesn’t matter what I feel for you. I intend to live my life alone, without commitment.”His eyes darkened, a whisper of a new emotion deep in their depths.
Colette’s joy faded, replaced by a piercing ache. “You’re afraid,” she said in surprise. “You took a bullet for me, risked your life to keep me safe, but you’re afraid to love me.”
He turned his head and stared toward the window, as if wishing himself away from the hospital, away from her. Seconds ticked by…tense seconds filled with unspoken emotion and unfulfilled dreams. He finally moved, reaching into the drawer next to the bed. He pulled out a small book and threw it on the bed. “Take it. It’s a savings account for Brook. I was going to send it to you, but you might as well take it now.”
His words chilled her. “I don’t want it,” Colette replied, a renewed burst of anger sweeping through her. “She doesn’t need your money, and I won’t let you salvage your conscience by taking your money.” She reached into her blouse pocket and pulled out the gambling chip that had rested against her heart. For a moment she held it tight, remembering. The night he’d given it to her he’d said she was his good luck charm. That had also been the first night they’d made love. She tossed it to him. “Now I guess we’re even.”
Although there were a million things Colette could say about what Brook did need from him, Colette refused to use her daughter as a bargaining tool to try to make him change his mind.
She walked to the door, feeling dead inside.
“Colette?” She paused at the doorway and lookedback at him. “I never promised.” He said it as if it somehow gave him absolution.
She sighed wearily. “You can tell yourself that a million times, Hank. But you did promise. You promised with your eyes and with your kisses. Every time you took me in your arms, you made a promise. Promises don’t have to be spoken aloud, and sometimes it’s the unspoken ones that hurt the most when they’re broken.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes dark orbs of pain.
“Oh, don’t feel sorry for me.” She raised her chin and straightened her back. “I’ll be fine. I still have my dreams, my hopes. Even though I love you with all my heart and soul, I won’t be like you. I won’t let my dreams of happily-ever-after die like you did.” She hugged Brook closer against her heart. “Hank, fate is giving you a second chance for happiness.” Once again her voice was hoarse, filled with tears and broken dreams. “You’re a fool for turning your back on it.”
She turned and left the room, hoping, praying he’d call out to her, stop her from walking out of his life. But he didn’t. And in his silence, Colette’s heart broke in two and she knew she’d lied to him. He had stolen her dreams for happily-ever-after, for she couldn’t imagine loving another man as she loved Hank.
“It’s all right,” she said softly to her daughter, who stared up at her with Hank’s dark eyes. “We’ll be okay. At the ranch you’ll be surrounded by love. And maybe…just maybe, at home I’ll be able to forget Hank.”
* * *
FORGETTINGHANKwas the most difficult thing Colette had ever tried to do. As the days passed into weeks, thoughts of him still intruded into her days, continued to haunt her with dreams of bittersweet love mingled with heartache.
The twilight bathed the landscape in golden hues as she walked toward the dragon tree. Brook gurgled and cooed in the carrier as if pleased to be out in the fresh air.
Life at the ranch continued to be a daily financial struggle, but everyone had been in high spirits since Colette and Brook’s return. Although her sisters had grilled her about the crime, the return of her memories, and Cameron Collier’s suicide, they had steered clear of the subject of Hank, as if knowing Colette’s heart was too badly bruised to want to talk about him.
