“I have not,” I mumble.
“Have too?—”
I open my eyes to darkness. To isolation. Still here, seventy-two hours later. I guess when you break an officer’s jaw, you shouldn’t expect any less.
I don’t remember fighting in the visitor room, but I’ve heard I knocked out six officers before I was taken down. The only reason I know any of that is true is my broken knuckle and bruises from where I was beaten until I was almost unconscious, and even then they said I was calling Ella’s name.
Turning onto my side, I stare at the cement wall. I don’t know what’s worse—going to sleep without her or waking up and remembering it all over again.
How she was taken from me.
The last words I heard her say.
The life I promised her even though I knew I’d fail.
I failed her.
So much worse than I ever thought I would.
Light splinters the darkness. I wince, shielding my eyes, the heavy metal door opening.
The brightness is blocked out by a familiar frame. “Up.”
Guy.
I sit up, and some light fills the darkness that’s invaded my heart. This is it. He’s come to take me to her.
“Cuff him,” Guy instructs, and an officer enters the room. I stand without argument, a little dizzy after days of no food. “Out.”
I do as I’m told until it’s just the three of us in the hallway.
“What are you gonna do with him?” the officer asks. I don’t recognize him.
Guy stares at me, nothing behind his eyes. “He got my kid killed. What do you think I’m gonna do with him?”
Whatever hope I had is diminished. Stamped out. Obliterated.
The officer smirks. “Well, paperwork will say he was being moved and escaped. Do whatever you want with the fucker.”
Fighting is for when you have something to fight for, but when I look at my life, there’s nothing for me.
My father figure betrayed me.
My brother is dead.
The woman I love was murdered.
Motor will be happy with Guy.
Guy must see the defeat in my expression, because now the officer is gone, he uncuffs me as we leave.
In the cover of darkness, he places me in the back of a cruiser.
We begin our drive.
Scenery passes. The desert is beyond the darkness, but we can’t see it. I can smell it through the vents, feel the approaching heat as the sun begins its slow ascent. The sky lightens from the inky black we’ve traveled through, a periwinkle clearness above us that I always hated as a kid. I wanted dark skies and rain, gray clouds and snow.
We leave the desert behind.
