“Was Ryan here?”
“He stopped by at the end of his shift before heading home.”
“That’s nice,” Ava said, but she was concerned for Ryan. Fern was recovering from a lot of trauma. Connections she formed now were going to be strong and deep. Something she wasn’t too sure her brother was aware of.
Making a mental note to do the big sister thing and call him later, she smiled at Fern.
“How are we today?”
Fern played with the comforter as had become her habit when she was avoiding talking.
“Fine.”
“Hey, it’s okay to have an off day,” Ava reminded her. “What’s up?”
“My leg really hurts. I can’t sleep. It’s been so sunny I wish I was outside, but the PT said I can’t until I make more progress.”
“You can’t walk outside but…what if we bundle you up and sit in the quiet reflection area?” Ava suggested. “We can do your session there.”
“Really?”
“Yes. And the nurses will take you outside if you want to go out.”
Fern nodded to herself. Smooshing down the blanket pyramids she’d made.
“Don’t want to go out?” Ava asked. Suspecting that it was due to the fact that she’d been kidnapped. In this hospital room she was safe. But she wanted Fern to figure that out. Telling her what was holding her back wasn’t going to help her move past this trauma.
“Lame, right? I’m in the hospital and there are tons of people around, but I’m still scared to leave this room. Even when they come to take me to PT, I freak out a little bit.”
“That’s natural—not lame at all. I was afraid to leave my apartment in college for a while,” Ava admitted. “Everyone has dealt with fear similar to yours at some time or another. Maybe not for the reasons you have, but our minds are capable of fear to protect us.”
“Well…I wish mine would get the message I’m safe,” she said with a mirthless laugh.
“You’re making a lot of progress. You have nurses in your room at night—how’s that going?”
“Much better,” Fern admitted. “Actually really good. Two nights ago I was annoyed they woke me up.”
“Nice. That’s more like it. How did you feel?”
“Normal. For a few minutes, I felt like my old self,” she said.
“Good. So about going outside….”
“I don’t think I can do it today,” Fern said after a moment.
“How do you feel about trying an exercise that might help you get ready to go out?” Ava asked.
“Sure. What is it?”
“Let’s make a list of all the evidence for you being kidnapped again and then disprove it. We’ll work on it together…how does that feel for you?” Ava asked, not wanting to push Fern into anything the other woman wasn’t ready for. But knowing that Fern needed to retrain her mind to accept that there wasn’t a kidnapper around every corner.
“I’m not sure. But it will be a distraction, so I’ll do it,” Fern said with a lot of determination. The woman had grit, which Ava admired.
They worked on the list for a while. Fern putting down her fears. There was no rationale for why the men kidnapped her. She hadn’t heard them talking about what they were going to do with her. They hadn’t sexually assaulted her. Just kept her drugged.
“Give me one reason why they wouldn’t come back,” Ava said.
“They’d be arrested or questioned. There are cops in the building and I’m being guarded,” Fern said.
