He read the disappointment on her face. But she just took a deep breath and nodded. “Sounds good.”
Guessing how hard it was for her not push him, he kissed her again before heading to the bathroom for his shower. When he came out, there was a coffee mug on the dresser, and he heard the sounds of Ava singing to Gracie.
For a moment he just stood in the domesticity. He could have this. All of this could be his. Just reach out and take what Ava was offering him.
He suspected she wanted a family as much as he did. But she came from a solid home life and had loving parents and a brother. What was holding her back?
His watch pinged, reminding him that he was running late. He had a meeting at the tribal police headquarters at ten, so he needed to speak to Jacob early and get back to the Navajo Nation.
Ava had made him two breakfast burritos, which she’d wrapped in foil and handed to him with a to-go coffee mug. “Figured you wouldn’t have time for food. Don’t expect this all the time.” She said that last with a smile.
His heart was ready to burst—a feeling of happiness coursing through him so deep and strong that he had to look away. This was too much. The world would never let him keep this.
He swallowed his fear for now. He kissed Gracie’s head and tickled her under the chin before hugging Ava and grabbing the food she prepared.
“Thanks.”
“No problem. ’Bye.”
“Byebyebyebye,” Gracie said.
Ava’s eyes flew to his. “Did you hear that?”
“I did.”
“’Bye,” he said directly to Gracie.
“Huuuuhhh.”
Ava laughed. “So, not totally sure yet. I’m going to keep working on it with her.”
“Me, too. ’Bye.”
Driving to the National Parks ISB offices, eating one of his burritos, he didn’t want to think about Ava and Gracie. But they were in his head. The smell of strawberries and baby powder probably clung to him, and he didn’t mind.
He’d never wanted to claim a family as his own, or make one. Taking nothing from his grandmother who’d raised him and loved him. He’d always felt like a burden to her. She had raised her daughter’s kid when he had shown up. Her life had been,and still was, full of friends and activities, but she’d taken him on.
Never really complaining. That wasn’t her way. She didn’t regret him being her life, she’d told him once. That he’d given her a gift she’d never expected to have.
But Ava and Gracie were different. There was no blood bond or sympathy because he’d been left on the doorstep…something he shared with Gracie—maybe that was why he cared so deeply for her.
He couldn’t analyze it. Affection didn’t work that way. Those two were in his heart, maybe as deeply as his grandmother was. Something the hadn’t anticipated and wasn’t entirely sure he knew how to handle.
But he would.
Wherever Gracie ended up, he’d make sure it was a kind, loving family. He’d be the best damned uncle she could ever have. It was almost easier with Gracie than with Ava.
Being the best man he could be for Ava, that was something he had no idea how to achieve. But he was determined to try. There was something about her that made him want to forget that hurt boy he still was and reach out again.
The only thing in his way was him. And he was stubborn and scared and hated both of those traits, but there they were. Making the burrito he’d been enjoying a moment ago taste almost sour in his mouth.
Making breakfast? Still second-guessing that move, she drove to the hospital. The sun was bright this morning and traffic a little heavier than usual. Gracie was still chattering but hadn’t made any other sounds like saying ’bye to Chay.
After she dropped Gracie at day care, she hurried to her office, not stopping to chat with anyone before she had to be in Fern’s room for their session.
Probably a good thing she had a busy day, or she’d spend most of it mooning over Chay. Last night had been one of the best of her life. He and Gracie were weaving their way into her heart.
“Hello, Fern,” she said, walking into the room, noticing the scent of her brother’s cologne as she did so.
