“What if it doesn’t go well? If I’m not this guy you’re hoping I’ll be when it comes to parenting a baby,” he asked her. Because at the heart of this matter was the fact that he cared for Ava. He wanted to be the man she needed him to be. But forcing himself into a role wasn’t going to work.
He wouldn’t do that.
“I’ll still like you, Chay. What’s happening between you and me…it’s not about Gracie,” she said, shifting up to her knees and kissing him.
There was no time to think; the moment her lips brushed his, his mouth opened. Tugging her even more off balance and into his arms. He leaned backward, taking her with him until she straddled his lap. Hands on his shoulders, she lifted her head.
Their eyes met. Affection and desire passed between them. He felt little hands on his feet. Lifting Ava carefully off his lap, they both peered down at Gracie.
“We should video this,” Ava said, carefully moving off the couch and grabbing her phone from her bag.
“Impressive,” Chay said. “She’s really smart.”
“She is,” Ava said, both of them noticing that she continued babbling the entire time as she shifted herself around, trying to turn but not really understanding how to do it.
Chay watched these two females who were so important to him. Gracie rolled over so she wasn’t near the couch and started crawling again. Ava was behind her like a documentary filmmaker, trying to capture every moment.
He wanted this for himself. Badly. There were no guarantees with life; hell, he knew that better than most. But reaching out and engulfing both of these two in his arms, keeping them in life…that was something that frightened him more than…well, fuck him…more than being left behind by his mom.
He wasn’t ready to admit that either of them could mean that much to him. That wasn’t what a second freaking date was about. Also, he’d just told Ava in plain terms he wasn’t going to be a father to Gracie. But in his soul it felt like he already was Ava’s man and Gracie’s father.
“Get down here—I’m going to try to take a video with us and Gracie crawling,” she said.
Probably it would have been safer to take the video for her, but he found himself lying on the floor next to Ava as Gracie crawled in front of them. Ava’s arms weren’t long enough, so he took her phone and got the video and then the photo she wanted.
It felt natural to kiss Ava, so he did.
Somehow they ended up eating on the floor with Gracie crawling all around them. Chay had taken the cushions off the couch and made a boundary for Gracie so she’d stay in the living room with them.
“I think this dinner is nicer than mine,” he admitted.
“Because Gracie crawled?”
He shrugged, not wanting to admit that, but yeah. The baby totally made the difference. “So what was it you were dealing with when you arrived?”
Her soft laugh told him she knew he was changing the subject. She took another bite of her lasagna, chewing very carefully, before she cleared her throat.
“I dated this guy in college…not for long, just a couple of dates. He was really controlling and always telling me what I felt and thought. So I broke up with him.”
“Good. No one should do that. Sounds manipulative.”
“It was. Anyway, he wouldn’t take no for an answer and started just showing up at the coffeehouse where I used to study with my friends, but that was a public place, so I didn’t think much of it until I noticed he was always following me. Like, to my classes, my job, and I saw him in the hallway of my apartment building.
“I clearly told him to stop doing it. But he wouldn’t and he got really angry. He hit me…”
Chay didn’t like where this was going. Ava seemed to be getting smaller, shrinking into herself, wrapping her arms around her waist. He shifted around until he could drape his arm over her shoulder, but slowly to make sure she’d welcome it. She did. Nestling closer to him, so they both faced the fire.
He took her plate from her when she handed it to him, putting them out of Gracie’s reach.
“What happened then?”
“It got ugly, but a neighbor came out and told him she’d called the cops. Daniel left. I filled out a statement and got a restraining order.”
“Did it work?”
“At first, not really. He just stayed farther back, and he could enter the coffee shop because it was on campus and he was a student. I just…I just never felt safe. So I think with what happened to Fern and Annie and Annie’s friend, it’s all stirring up those emotions again.”
Chay rubbed his hand up and down her arm. “Perfectly reasonable. What happened to Daniel?”
