“That’s hardly the issue,” Abby scolds gently. “Our brains understand the practicalities, but our hearts want romance, don’t they? You wanted him to tell you he was thrilled and that he loves you and wants to marry you, didn’t you? That’s what I’d have wanted, anyway.”
I nod, wiping my face again. “It’s so stupid.”
“It’s not,” she says firmly. “We all want the fairy tale.” She looks at Noah, and her expression softens. “And wishes can come true.”
He smiles and winks at her.
She looks back at me. “I know you’re destined for a happy ending, too.”
“Archer’s first thought will have been for himself,” Noah says, “and what implications the baby will have on his life and new business, that’s all.”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” I say. “I wanted to be a positive influence on his life, not drag him down.”
“You’re not dragging him down,” Abby says firmly. “It is partly his responsibility that you’re pregnant, after all, and he needs to process that. He knows he slipped up, and he’ll feel that he let you down.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t thought of it like that, but it makes perfect sense.
“He’ll probably be berating himself that it’s the worst way to start off fatherhood,” Noah says. “He has strong principles, and he’ll be ashamed that he’s let himself—and probably his own father—down by not sticking to them.”
“He wouldn’t have thought about the baby,” Abby says. “When he does, he’ll realize what an amazing thing it is, I’m certain of it.”
I let out a long, sad sigh. “I hope so. I just wish it hadn’t happened right now. I mean, even if he comes around to the idea, it’s the worst possible timing, right as PAWS is about to open. We’re not even together properly. Neither of us has our lives sorted.”
“Nobody ever does,” Abby says cheerfully.
“True, but I feel as if I should think about what would be best for him. And I also keep thinking about Kim, my sister. She’s going to be devastated when I tell her that I fell so easily.” I wince at the thought. “And it doesn’t look great to the staff at PAWS. And—”
“Beth,” Noah interrupts, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “Forget about everyone else. You even have to forget about Archer. The only two people that matter right now are you and your baby. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Their thoughts and responses and actions are their problems. I’m sure everyone will besupportive once they’ve gotten over the shock, including your sister. You didn’t get pregnant on purpose to spite her. It’s a shame she can’t carry her own child, but she’ll probably embrace being an aunt once she gets used to the idea, and she’ll enjoy helping you look after it.”
I blink, hardly able to breathe. Is he right that there could be a positive outcome to this?
“All you have to think about right now is if you want to have this baby,” he continues. “Everything else can be worked out.”
“We’ll be here to help,” Abby says. “Our babies would be due within a few months of each other, wouldn’t they? We’d be support for one another. We could go shopping together for baby and maternity stuff.”
“Trust you to bring shopping into it,” Noah teases good naturedly.
I laugh and take another tissue to blow my nose again. “That’s true.” I hesitate. “When I first told him, Archer said every baby is a gift.”
“He’s a good man,” Noah says firmly, “and he’s absolutely right.”
“But of course it’s up to you,” Abby adds quickly. “It’s your body, and your choice. It’s important to know you have options and help, that’s all.”
I pick up my mug and sip the hot, sweet tea, the ginger warming me all the way down. The first wave of panic is receding. I’ve already told Jude, which was one of the things I was most worried about, and Noah’s probably right about Kim. She’ll be upset, but we’re close, and I know she won’t blame me or the baby for her own issues.
While Noah asks about Ethan and Abby answers him quietly, I look out of the window, wondering what Archer’s doing now. Should I call him? Go back to his house? Or give him some time to process the news?
I suddenly feel a deep ache of longing. I want to see him, to have him hold me. To kiss me, and to make love to me. But I need to give him time. I sigh, sipping the tea again. I wish life wasn’t so complicated.
Understanding settles on me gradually though, as slowly as the sun slipping below the horizon. The night I spent with Archer was amazing, and the more I think of it, the more what happened seems a miracle.
I want this baby. And if Archer doesn’t want it with me… I just need to decide whether I’m brave enough to do it alone.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Archer
Kath leaves shortly after her revelation, obviously aware I need some time to process what she’s told me. She gives me a hug and tells me she’s sorry she hasn’t told me before, then heads out, and the room falls quiet.
