Dammit! My phone was on silent, and I hadn’t felt the vibration because it was on the armchair and I was on the sofa.
I check the time—it’s only 6:45 a.m., so the sun isn’t quite up yet, although the horizon is filled with a beautiful peach glow. Too early to call her. Instead, I send a text.Hey! You called me last night? So sorry, I was asleep. Everything okay?
Heart hammering, I put the phone aside and start making myself a coffee.
I’ve just finished steaming the milk when my phone vibrates repeatedly, announcing a call. I snatch it up, see her name, and answer it. “Hello?”
“Good morning.” She sounds as if she’s smiling.
“Hey you.” I pour the milk over the espresso, take the mug over to the window, and look out at the view as I sip it. “I’m so sorry I missed you last night.”
“That’s okay. You must have been tired.”
“I was working at PAWS all day in the garden. I was knackered. I fell asleep in front of the TV.”
“Aw, you poor thing.” Her voice is teasing, playful.
I clear my throat. “Isla said she covered for you in the morning because you were off sick. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just couldn’t face going in. I’ll be in today, though.”
I screw my face up, wondering whether to mention it, then decide oh what the hell. “She also said Jude was going to see you at lunchtime.” As soon as I say it, I wince, thinking that I sound as if I’m spying on her.
But she just sighs and says, “Yeah, he turned up at Kim’s house. It was tough. I asked Kim to stay, but I kinda wish I hadn’t.”
“Because… you wanted to be alone with him?”
“No, no. It turns out that she and Simon have decided their marriage is over.”
“Ohhh… no.”
“Yeah, and she feels bad that what’s happened between them is influencing me and Jude. She tried to convince me to stay with him, saying that I shouldn’t make the same mistake she has, you know, worrying about conceiving, that I should just let things happen.”
“What did Jude say?”
“He wants us to try again.”
I look out at the tip of the sun as it peeps above the horizon, flooding the sky with light. “Right.”
“But… I couldn’t seem to explain to either of them that it wasn’t just about our argument over children. That being with him is just so… hard.” She blows out a breath. “It shouldn’t be that hard. Should it? Or am I bailing too early?”
I grit my teeth. I want to tell her that she’s mad to stay with him. That he doesn’t deserve her. And that she should definitely jump ship.
But I force myself to be honest, because in this case I know she’s asking me as a friend, not as a prospective lover. “If you’re asking me ‘do all relationships take work,’ I have to say yes. Every connection we make in life, whether it’s a romantic one, a familial one, or a friendship, takes work—compromise, communication, and understanding.”
“Yeah.”
“But it has to come from both sides, Beth. So I guess the question is, are you meeting in the middle? Is he making the same amount of effort that you are?”
“No,” she says, immediately. “He’s not.”
She told me at The Driftwood that Jude was like a plastic mold, and she was a piece of plasticine, and she had to reshape herself when she was with him to make sure they fit together, so I understand her vehement reply.
“He never compromises,” she says. “And he never wants to talk about things, only tell me what I’m doing wrong.” She sighs then. “I’m sorry, I know he’s your best friend. And after what we did… Oh God, I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.”
“I don’t mind.”
“It’s just that I don’t have anyone else. Clearly, I can’t talk to Kim, and everyone else knows Jude, too. All my friends think the sun shines out of his arse. They’re all going to think I’m mad for breaking up with him.”
