“What did Jude say when you spoke to him?” she asks.
“Not much. He was pretty drunk. He said you’d had a couple of arguments today, and that you’d broken up.”
She wipes at a smudge on the glass. “Yeah.”
“Did he break up with you? Or did you break up with him?”
She just shrugs. “Does it matter?”
Yes, Beth, it matters.I think it, but I don’t say it.
“He said he can’t be what you want,” I say instead. “What did he mean by that?”
She brushes a hand over her face. Then she says, “He told me he doesn’t want children, so if I want them, I’ll have to find someone else to have them with.” She gives a short, bitter laugh and shakes her head. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” she says, lifting the glass with a toast before having another large mouthful.
Ohhh… I think I know what this is about. Beth is very open about her family’s history of endometriosis. She’s told me that her mother had to have IVF each time to conceive her three children, and that Simon and Kim have had trouble getting pregnant. She’s mentioned that Kim is struggling to deal with her infertility. I also know Beth is concerned about her own ability to conceive. Jude is a nice guy, and he does his best to be supportive. But it’s clear he doesn’t understand Kim’s obsessive desire for a baby, and he told me it’s destroying her marriage to Simon. I could see the fear in his eyes that something similar might happen to him down the line.
He’s obviously told Beth his thoughts, and it’s led to him stating that he doesn’t want kids.
“I’m sorry he chose today to tell you that,” I say with feeling. “The guy’s an idiot.”
That makes her give a tired snort. “Don’t make me laugh.”
“Well, he is. On Valentine’s Day, honestly. But look, he was just being clueless. I’m sure he’ll calm down soon, and then he’ll admit he spoke without thinking.”
She shakes her head. “He meant every word.”
“You don’t know that. He was drunk and obviously frustrated.”
“You’re being very kind, and you’re a good friend. But he meant it. I could feel it in my bones. He’s tried to tell me several times—not in so many words, but in his body language and the way he’s reacted when I’ve told him what’s happening with Kim.” She has another mouthful of wine. “It’s over. He made it very clear.” She rests her elbows on the bar and covers her face with her hands.
I glance at my watch. It’s past eight thirty, and it’s dark out. Jude didn’t say he wasn’t going home tonight, just that he was getting Bran to pick him up. Maybe after a chat with his brother, he’ll ask Bran to drop him back at their house.
“You should go home,” I urge her. “He might already be there. You need to talk this through.”
“I don’t want to,” she says from behind her hands.
I lean on the bar beside her. “This is fixable. You love each other.”
She lowers her hands. Her eyes shine, but she’s not crying. “It’s not enough,” she says simply. “It’s so much more complicated than that.”
“I know…”
She fiddles with her wine glass. “Can I admit something to you?”
“Of course.”
“It’s just… I know Jude is your friend.”
“So are you. And I want to help.”
She sips the wine. “Lately… I’ve been thinking that maybe I went out with Jude because I had stars in my eyes.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“I know you’re going to disagree because you’re a nice guy, but he’s a ten, and I’m only a six at best.”
I’m aghast. “Beth!”
