It was the urge I felt to bite down on his bottom lip that snapped me back to reality. The moment my teeth sank into his surprisingly plush bottom lip and he hissed in pain, I yanked myself away from him and stared with my hand pressed over my mouth as he reached up and wiped a spot of blood from his mouth.
“I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to—”
Leon stood up and the look on his face sent me running. He was a starving bear and I was a little honey snack. “Smart girl. A second more and I would’ve had you bent over this bike, screaming as I tore through your innocence.”
I tossed one last apology over my shoulder as I escaped into the house and raced upstairs to my room. I hurriedly changedinto my pajamas and crawled into bed with the smells of the night and Leon still clinging to my skin.
Instead of being horrified that I’d just made Leon bleed, or proud of how brave I’d been on the back of his motorcycle, I found myself wrestling with thoughts of Theo and what his kiss would be like.
CHAPTER 23
Sutton
The next day was full of playing with the kids and helping Dad pack a bag. Dominic had arranged for Dad to see a doctor in Boston about a new treatment option. I’d known nothing about it until Dominic mentioned it over breakfast. I hadn’t known whether to cry happy tears or be annoyed that he’d arranged for Dad to fly across the country without me. When I complained to Dad about it, he’d just rolled his eyes at me and told me I had a job to do and couldn’t abandon it to hold his hand on an airplane. All the annoyance drained away when I saw our old neighbor, Betty, show up with one of the guys’ drivers. Dominic had somehow gotten Betty’s information from my dad and talked him into letting her tag along.
Seeing Dominic take charge of not just Dad’s medical care but also all the extras made me finally give into those happy tears. Dad was going to be cared for. I trusted Betty to take care of him and I knew she’d do it with a smile on her face because she had a big crush on Dad. Maybe the time away together would force Dad to acknowledge he had feelings for her, too.
Dad left before dinner so I ate with the kids. Dominic and Leon were dealing with work stuff and Theo was still in hiding, so I got them all to myself. I hadn’t been back to the club since the first night they took me, so I wasn’t expecting to find a gift bag on my bed when I returned after Naomi showed up to get the kids ready for bed.
Therewasa bag, though, and when I opened it and pulled out its contents, I felt the now familiar thrill ricochet through my body, bouncing around every nook and cranny until my hands shook and I was breathing faster. Inside was another button-up shirt and skirt set. The skirt was shorter than the first one but the real shocker in the bag was the pair of panties. Heavier than normal panties it only took me a few seconds to understandwhat they were. I’d read enough dirty books to recognize the little butterfly sewn into the panties for what it was.
They wanted me to wear vibrating panties. The lack of any kind of button or remote to turn them on let me know that someone else had control. I almost put them aside but then I saw the note resting at the bottom of the bag. Written in Theo’s distinct handwriting was a simple message.
It’s up to you.
Theo had control of the panties. Theo, who’d been avoiding me since telling me he killed people. Theo, who’d been on my mind most of the day. Theo, who I was desperate to see again.
I took a shower and scrubbed myself almost raw before stepping out and going through my routine for going out. I dried my hair and, remembering Leon’s preference, put it up in a high pony. I brushed my teeth and used mouthwash, my mind full of thoughts of kissing. I dug around in my bag of rarely used toiletries until I found an old wand of mascara and I brushed some on. I didn’t think about why I was doing it, I just did it.
It was the same with the outfit. Even the panties. Especially the panties. Not thinking about the why made pulling them on a lot easier. I wore the same shoes as the time before and ignored my reflection on the way out. I didn’t want to know what I looked like. It’d be easier if I didn’t. It seemed that acting oblivious was my new coping mechanism.
As I walked downstairs, I had the strangest feeling. I was a grown woman, yet I still felt a little more free with my dad gone. There was no one to see me and wonder if I was my mother’s child in every way, especially since I was ignoring all thoughts and feelings to do with that. No one to walk in on anything, no one to catch me and scold me for what I was doing. That thrill grew stronger.
It was Theo waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me. His jaw tight, eyes dark, he shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded at me.
“You look beautiful.”
Suddenly shy, I ducked my head and murmured a thank you. I had so much I wanted to say to him but I didn’t know how to. I didn’t know if he’d want me to, either. Maybe he was over me because of how I’d told him to leave.
“Are you comfortable with me taking you to the club?” He sounded pained and that was all it took for me to find my voice.
“Theo! Of course!” I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug. “I’m sorry I freaked out and hurt you. I’m not scared of you, Theo. I don’t want you to hide from me. I’ve missed you.”
A shocking amount of tension left his body as he exhaled and brought his arms up around me. His body ran hotter than anyone I’d ever touched and I was instantly engulfed in that warmth. Maybe it would’ve creeped a different man out that I’d admitted to missing them after only knowing them for a little while, but not Theo. He buried his face in my ponytail and took in a deep, deep inhale.
“You shouldn’t apologize.”
“I hurt you.”
He ran his hands down my back and only stopped when he reached the line of my panties.
“Are these mine?”
I blushed hard but nodded against his chest.
“Yes.”
“Then you should really save your apologies because I’m not giving you any mercy tonight, Angel.” His voice took on the same edge as the night in my bathroom. There was a tinge of something dark and manic, but when I looked up at him his eyes were warm. “Are you up for the walk?”
