"So," I say as we sit down at the table. "About last night."
"It's fine."
"You don't even know what I was going to say."
"Doesn't matter." He focuses very intently on his eggs. "We were tired. It was late. People do stupid things when they're stuck in close quarters."
"Stupid things?"
"You know what I mean."
I do know what he means. He's giving me an out. A way to pretend it didn't matter, that it was just proximity and boredom and nothing real.
The smart thing would be to take it.
"Right," I say. "Stupid things. Like touching someone's face in the dark and telling them you’re trying to talk yourself out of something. Classic cabin fever behavior."
He looks up sharply.
"Too soon to joke about it?" I ask.
"I—" He shakes his head, and something that might be a smile tugs at his mouth. "You're something else, you know that?"
"I've been told."
The tension breaks, just a little. We eat our eggs. The silence is still heavy, but it's not unbearable anymore.
*****
After breakfast, Jake announces he's going to check the generator and see if he can get the power back on. I offer to help, but he waves me off.
"It's a one-person job. Make yourself comfortable."
He's out the door before I can argue.
I spend the morning pacing. Reading books I can't focus on. Staring out the window at the snow that's finally starting to slow down.
I think about last night. About his touch. The way he looked at me in the firelight.
I think about going home and never seeing him again.
The thought shouldn't bother me as much as it does.
Around noon, Jake comes back inside, stamping snow off his boots. "Generator's shot. But the power company says they're working on the lines. Should have electricity by tonight."
"That's good news."
"Yeah." He strips off his gloves. "I'm going to check the driveway. See how much I need to dig out."
"I'll come with you."
"You don't have to—"
"I want to." I'm already reaching for my coat. "I've been inside all morning. I'm going stir-crazy."
He looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn't. We bundle up and head outside together.
The world is white.
