I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest. “I won’t wear any of those; you might as well return them.”
“These clothes belong to you,” she said, trying to get one of the racks back in the room.
We engaged in a struggle that exhilarated me but was completely beneath her tweedy dignity. She finally gave up, smoothing her vest and leaving the racks in the hall.
“Well,” she said, patting her hair into place. “Would you like me to show you around the house and grounds?”
It was so clear she was done with me, but had to carry out Gavril’s instructions. I felt a little bit bad for her, trying to be kind and just doing her job, but I had to stand firm. And I had already seen plenty of the grounds on the harrowing trip out to the murder shed. I turned up my nose.
“That will be all, thank you,” I said coldly. She was an enemy, same as Gavril. Forgetting that was as dangerous as those warm feelings I couldn’t shake when I thought about him. “I’d like to be alone now.”
She nodded briskly and stalked down the hall, leaving the clothing racks. Fine, let them stay out there and get in everyone’s way. I grabbed up the book I started the night before and tried to get lost in the story.
But not even reading an old favorite could transport me out of my situation. It didn’t take ten minutes of trying before I regretted sending Tansy on her way like some imperious… mafia wife. Which was what I was, but I didn’t mean to stay one, so there was no way I should be acting that way.
She might have been a valuable source of information if I could have cracked her professional shell. She might have even turned to help me, if for nothing else but the hefty reward myfamily would give her. That shot was blown, and I could have kicked myself. So much for thinking three steps ahead.
Around lunch time, I wandered downstairs, where the cook had a meal waiting for me. Normally, I ate a protein bar at my desk or stuffed in a sandwich if I could be bothered making my way out of my room and down to the kitchen. It was another Russian favorite of mine, borscht, something that made my sister gag, but I loved it.
Thinking about Masha made me yearn for her strength and confidence. I’d been trying to channel her to stand up for myself, and rejecting all those clothes felt like a good start. I couldn’t fight my way out of this with weapons or fists, but I could stay strong and wait for an opportunity to slip away.
“This is delicious,” I told the cook. I’d already burned one bridge with Tansy; maybe I could build one with this formidable old woman.
“Yes, of course,” she answered.
I kept talking and asking questions, and it was like trying to bring down a brick wall with a toothpick. She refused to budge. I learned her name was Varvara, but not much else. It was apparent she was utterly loyal to Gavril, impervious to compliments, and as sharp as the knives she wielded to make dinner as I ate the beet soup.
“Thank you,” I said, bringing my empty bowl to the sink.
She snatched it away, tutting as if I had done something gravely wrong. “You’re expected to join Mr. Bocharov for dinner. Eight o’clock sharp.”
There was no point in telling her that wasn’t about to happen. I didn’t want to get stabbed. But I stomped all the way back to my room. I didn’t like Gavril’s imperious demand for meto join him for breakfast, and I liked this one even less. It set my nerves on edge, not knowing what he expected of me. Was I a prisoner or a bride?
I didn’t want to be either. For a split second, my dark mood was lightened to find the clothing racks were no longer outside my room. As soon as I opened the door, the clouds rolled back in. They were in the room again, and a disgruntled guard who couldn’t have been much older than me was moving each item to the closet as if the fine clothes were venomous snakes.
He gave me a sour look that I returned. He’d probably been ordered to put the expensive items away without wrinkling, tearing, or ruining anything, and as much as he hated the task, he took it to heart.
“Oh, just leave them,” I said, shooing him out the door. “You can report back that the job got done. I won’t tear anything up.”
He looked like he couldn’t decide, but I showed him I was sincere by carefully taking a dress off the rack and hanging it up in the closet. It was like pins pricking me to concede defeat, but I’d already struck out with Tansy and Varvara; I didn’t need some random guard to hate me, too.
Actually, I was so pissed off by the time the clothes were put away that I didn’t care who hated me, because I hated everything and everyone even more. I stacked up the multitudes of feather pillows on my bed and punched them repeatedly, wearing myself out and barely making a dent.
Staring in the full-length mirror in the corner, I scowled. Maybe I was wispy.
Tears began to well, but I clung to my irritation and anger. Most of all, my resolve to stay strong. Crying didn’t help anything. Stewing didn’t either, but that’s what I was doingwhen dinner time rolled around, and I was in my pajamas, my freshly shampooed hair slicked back in damp waves down my back.
I had a book on my lap, but couldn’t concentrate. Eight o’clock came and went, and nothing happened. Was I disappointed? Did I actually want a confrontation with Gavril? Or did I just want to see him again? I still couldn’t shake that first impression I had of him as my rescuer.
“But he’s not,” I hissed, slamming my book shut and deciding to just go to bed and hope to fall asleep.
As I roughly pulled the covers back, the door flew open. Gavril stood there, almost with a red haze around him, practically snorting like a bull. I blinked, and he was just as big and imposing, taking up the entire doorframe, but the haze was only my imagination. Ever since Varvara told me he ‘expected’ me at dinner, I’d been working up to this moment.
Yes, I had been waiting to have it out with him. This was my moment, and I stiffened my spine and stared at him as if I didn’t have a care in the world.
“I’d like you to join me for dinner,” he said. Not at the top of the rude and imperious scale, but still not an actual request. Just a slightly polite command.
“As you can see, I turn in early.” That wasn’t true at all.
