I huff. I thought hearing his voice and seeing him would make me feel better. It’s having the opposite effect. It’s obvious I actually meant nothing to him.
“Not much of a talker, huh? That’s okay. We don’t need to talk. You wanna dance? Or I could buy you a drink?” Kip keeps going, oblivious.
You know what? This isn’t worth it. I’ve been broken over this guy for days. Reaching out, trying to make sure he was okay. And he didn’t even have the decency to say anything back? He was apparently perfectly fine with ghosting me.
I push from my chair, sending it toppling backwards with a bang. I debate my next move for a moment. And then I decide. I want him to know that it’s me. That I came here, looking for him. That I actually cared, and that I’m a real person with feelings.
Whipping my hood back, I glare at him.
The smile slides off of Kip’s face, and his eyes widen. When our gazes collide, it feels like electricity zapping through my veins.
“C-Charlie?” Kip stutters.
My mouth shifts into a sneer. “Yep, sorry to disappoint. I know you were looking for a new person to use, and you thought you’d found one. But it’s just me.”
“Use? What do you mean?” Kip seems dumbfounded. Which I guess isn’t a far cry from how he normally is.
“You know exactly what I mean.” Snarling, the words fly out of me. “You used me to feed off of so you could turn. And then you almost fucking killed me! Was it even really an accident? Was your plan to drain me, to get rid of me? But then at the last second your guilt and remorse kicked in and you stopped yourself? Well, you should’ve drank every fucking drop. You should’ve just killed me. It would’ve been better than leaving me alive like this and then ghosting me. I was fucking worried about you! Fuck me, right? Stupid Charlie, letting his guard down and getting attached! Well guess what, Kip? Fuck you. Fuck you so fucking hard.” I’m panting now, my chest rising and falling in a harsh rhythm.
I begin to move past him, through with all of this. I said my piece, and I don’t want to hear a word he has to say back. When I pass by, his arm snakes out and snatches my wrist.
“Wait, Charlie, please.” Kip’s voice cracks.
I try to rip my wrist out of his grip, but it’s too tight and he’s too strong.
“Please, just listen. I didn’t use you. I would never do that. You have to know that. Especially after Tyson did that to me.” His sounds forlorn.
“I don’t know that, actually. It seems I don’t know anything.” I finally peel my wrist out of his grip, either that or he lets me go.
Before I get even a step away, I feel a strong body collide with mine. Air whooshes around me, and I’m left dazed and my back hits a wall. Kip’s body blocks me in, his palms resting beside my head. His scent surrounds me as his head dips down, his nose brushing along the side of my throat.
Kip growls, something ferocious. “You think I didn’t want to text you back? You think these last few days have been easy for me? That I didn’t lock myself away, trying to keep you safe from me?” I feel his fangs brush against my skin. “God. I’ve beendyingwithout you. Fuck, I wanted to die after hurting you. I can’t keep you safe from me. There’s always going to be a risk. And I’m not willing to take that risk. I won’t hurt you again.That’swhy I ghosted you, for your own good.”
I turn my head towards him, brushing my nose against his cheek. He sounds sincere…but is this all part of his game?
Feeling him close to me again, surrounded by his scent, is messing with my head. Can vampires do mind tricks like Jedi?
“I don’t believe you.” I whisper against Kip’s skin.
His chest rumbles against mine with frustration. “I had to bury my phone in my sock drawer to stop myself from texting you back. But even with it hidden, I’d sneak over to my dresser like a criminal and dig it out. I’d read the previews of your texts over and over. But you didn’t text me today. I thought you’d given up on me. Part of me hoped you did, for your own good. But the selfish part of me wants you to keep fighting. I don’t want to give you up. And you being here? That proves you didn’t give up. So, please, don’t walk away and give up now. Even if this means I’m stupid and selfish.”
My heart thunders in my chest, it’s so loud I have no doubt Kip can hear its beat. I really want to believe Kip. Before this whole ghosting situation, I thought that he was kind and sweet. I didn’t believe he had it in him to hurt someone like he’s been hurting me. But is that all a lie?
“It’s not stupid and selfish if I’m willingly risking myself for you. It’s not one-sided. We both have a choice in this, and I want to choose you.” The words tumble out of my mouth.
Kip’s breath hitches before his hand suddenly grips my chin, forcing me to face him, and his lips crash to mine. The entire world falls away as we ignite. The kiss is bruising and needy. There’s nothing gentle about the way our mouths work against one another. It’s forceful, our teeth clacking together with how unhinged it is.
I feel Kip’s fangs as they scrape against my lips and tongue. The taste of cooper lines my mouth, Kip’s fangs having made my tongue bleed. He sucks my tongue greedily, swiping up every drop of blood with fervor. Someone is moaning, and I’m not sure which one of us it is. Maybe it’s both of us.
The kiss finally breaks when I need to take a breath. We both pant against each other’s lips, our foreheads pressed together. Kip’s mist-like gray eyes connect with mine.
“What is this?” He asks against my mouth. “I don’t understand. I’ve never…this isn’t…”
“Me either. I don’t know what this is between us. I’ve never needed someone like I need you.” I admit, wrapping my arms around his neck to curl the hair at the nape of his neck around my fingers. “It hasn’t even been a week. This is madness.”
“It doesn’t make sense.” He presses gentle kisses on the corners of my mouth, and then trails his lips along my jaw. “I wanted to die without you. Dying is preferable to hurting you again.”
I was angry before, I know that. I was hurt, and felt betrayed and used. But my mind was playing tricks on me. It always whispers horrible things in my ear, telling me I’m not good enough, or no one will ever love me, or no one actually likes me. And I believed it. But now I see that my brain was the liar, not Kip. Kip is soft and caring.That’s why he ghosted me. He thought he was doing what was best for me.
