“Sorry, dude. But it’s true. I’m here, trying to help you.”
“Are you sure it’s not to make yourself feel better? Maybe you’re trying to rid yourself of the guilt from turning me and ruining my life.”
There was a time, a long time, where I considered Tyson my ride or die. I thought we knew each other. I thought we were going to be best buds for life. And now I can’t trust a single thing he says.
Tyson sighs. “I do feel bad about everything, Kip. I didn’t mean for this to happen. But, look at the bright side! Being a vampire is so cool, and has tons of perks. Once you get past the whole hunting humans and drinking their blood thing, it’s all up from there. You’ll look young and have a smoking bod for eternity, dude. Think of all the pussy you could get in that time. Or dick, if you want that.”
“I don’t want a bunch of meaningless hookups. Not anymore. All I want is Charlie, and I can’t have him because I could accidentally kill him. If I was still human, it wouldn’t be an issue. It fucking figures that I meet my soulmate after becoming vampire, when we’ll never work. All my years of optimism and positive thinking, and where did it get me?”
Tyson guffaws. “Soulmate? You’ve known the guy for less than a week. He’s not your soulmate.”
“What do you know about that, huh? You probably don’t even know what love is.”
“And you think you do? Maybe you aren’t cut out to be a vampire. Seems like it scrambled your brains a bit, made you delusional.”
“Get out, Tyson.” My voice is filled with resignation. I don’t even have it in me to be angry right now. I’m drained.
“I’m just trying to help you, Kip!” Tyson shouts, standing from the bed.
“Yeah, a real big help you’ve been.” I mutter. “Just leave me alone.”
“Gladly. Who wants to be around someone so depressing anyway?” Tyson throws over his shoulder as he stomps away, slamming my bedroom door on his way out.
“You still wanna be around me, don’t you Nacho? You don’t mind me being depressed.” I snuggle my kitty closer.
Nacho finally calms down now that Tyson is gone. He curls up in my arms, butting his head against mine.
Mrow.
It’s been days since I’ve fed. I thought that Tyson said we only needed to feed once, maybe twice, a week. But I’m already starving. I fed Sunday,so I thought I would be good for about a week. Not the case, seeing as it’s Thursday and I’m about to lose my mind with how hungry I am.
After the fight I had with Tyson earlier today, I heard him leave the apartment, and then I fell asleep. There’s not much for me to do while locked away in my room. I can’t look at my phone, because that’ll make me want to call or text Charlie.
I have no workout equipment here, so I can’t even blow off some steam by lifting weights. Why would I buy that type of stuff when I could use it for free at work? It’s not like I’m made out of money.
I’m pent up, and hungry, and it’s driving me insane.
My fangs have been sticking out of my gums almost non-stop, like they’re waiting for any source of blood to come by. I accidentally ripped up my pillow earlier because I couldn’t get my claws to retract. I fell like a caged animal, ready to attack, and snarling at anything that moves.
Another thing that’s getting me down? Charlie hasn’t texted today. His texts have been a constant since Monday morning. But today? Radio silence. Did he finally give up on me? For his sake, I hope so. I hope he moves on. Finds someone who can actually love him and be good for him. For my sake, I hope he doesn’t. I know, it’s a contradiction. Two things can be true at the same time. But my hope for him outweighs my hope for me.
I debate with myself for a few hours. Stuck in my head with only my misery and hunger for company. I don’t want to feed. I don’t want to, but I need to. I can’t think straight. The only thoughts in my head are of Charlie, and of blood. The worst part about all of this is that the only blood I want is Charlie’s. But I won’t, and I can’t.
Which means either I chain myself up and hope the hunger goes away…or I find someone else to feed off of.
I have a feeling that trying to ignore the hunger isn’t going to end well for anyone. So the only solution? Going to Blood Rose.
I psych myself up, mustering as much energy as I can into this.
Looking in the mirror, I point at myself. “Come on, Kip. You’re gonna go to the club, get initiated or whatever, and feed. Then everything will be peachy. Except for the whole not having Charlie in my life thing…but one step at a time!” Staring at my reflection, I see a fake smile plastered on my face. My eyes look tired and lifeless. My words are hollow.
But, like it or not, this is my life. And this is the way things have to be.
When I get to the club, a sense of longing comes over me. My eyes dart around, and my gaze keeps snagging at a hooded figure on the balcony. My brain screams ‘Charlie!’ at me, telling me that’s my little dude, but I know that I’m just desperate for it to be him.
Shoving my way through the crowd, I step up to the bar to find the same bartender as when I was here last.
“Hey, buddy. Remember me?” I ask, trying to flash a grin at the bartender, but I’m sure it actually looks like a grimace.
