Tyson huffs, but softens his gaze slightly when he looks at me. “Fine.”
“Fine.” I growl.
“Well, what the fuck happened?” Tyson sighs, exasperatedly, before plopping down onto the two-seat couch across from us.
I look down at Charlie, my fingers stroking his hair gently. “Charlie let me feed from him. It went fine. He said it didn’t hurtmuch, and I was able to pull back at stop before taking too much. But then…I don’t know. We were parking outside his apartment, and it was like time skipped. One second I was putting the car in park, and the next I was waking up with Charlie slumped over me, and his wrist in my mouth while I drained him. I almost…he almost…” I hiccup, a small cry of anguish escaping my lips.
“So, you blacked out, and when you came to you were feeding on him? And this happened after you fed for the first time?” Tyson confirms.
I nod, eyes locked on my fingers in Charlie’s hair. I can’t look him in the eye right now.
“It was my fault.” Charlie says quietly. “Kip was passed out, and I thought he was dead. I was scared. So I did the only thing I could think of…I…bit myself until I bled so I could feed him. That’s why he attacked me. He didn’t know what he was doing. Kip, you didn’t know.”
“Well, of course you attacked him, Kip.” Tyson butts in. “You’re a baby vamp and your instincts kicked in when you smelled his blood. You were in the process of changing into a full vamp when he woke you up, and your mind wasn’t present, just your instincts.”
“It doesn’t matter whether I was knew what I was doing or not!” I exclaim. “I could’ve killed you, Charlie. My instincts or whatever, told me to fucking kill you. And I had no control over it. This isn’t okay. It’s fucking wrong. I’m a fucking monster!”
“I mean, you’re a vampire now, Kip.” Tyson says softly. “You’re bound to give into your base vamp instincts now and again, until you learn how to control them. It’s inevitable. And, not to say I told you so, but…” His voices grows in anger and volume. “I fucking told you so, dude! Instead of letting me be there and help you, you ran off on your own, and now this happened.”
“Not fucking helpful, Tyson.” Charlie snarls from my lap. His palm reaches up to rest against my cheek, urging me to look down at him. “It’s okay, Kip. I’m not mad, or scared, anymore. And I’m fine. It was a mistake, but I know you didn’t mean it.”
“Yeah, as long as nobody bleeds around you randomly, you’ll be fine!” Tyson chirps.
“You said Tyson was the world’s worst friend…but Charlie, I am. What I did to you was way worse than what he did to me. Sure, Tys ended up turning me into a vampire, but at least I’m still alive. I about killed you, Charlie. The only thing that brought me back was you begging me to stop.”
“Actually, you’re not really alive…you’re actually undead.” Tyson chimes in.
“Tyson, seriously, fuck off.” My voice is filled with disdain, something I never thought I would be aiming at my best friend. Well, I guess he’s my former best friend now.
“No, Kip. You aren’t.” Charlie tries to reason. “Tyson is the world’s worst friend because he knowingly fed off you without your consent, and because of that you became a vampire. You would never hurt me on purpose, you had no control over it.”
How is Charlie being so reasonable about this? It makes no sense.
“Oh right, everything’s my fault? Let’s everyone blame Tyson. Fuck you both.” Tyson stands up, storming off towards his bedroom with thudding footsteps. When he slams his bedroom door, the entire apartment rattles.
“Good riddance.” Charlie raises his middle finger over his head, pointing it towards the hallway.
If I was in a better mood, I’d laugh at Charlie’s brashness. I like seeing his grumpy side come out when it’s not directed at me. But, at the moment, I feel like shit. I’m a shitty friend, a shitty vampire, and generally just very shitty.
“You’re sure you’re okay now, Charlie?”
Charlie sits up in my lap, resting his back along the armrest. “Yep. See, I’m fine? Your blood healed me right up.”
“I was so scared when I came to and saw us covered in your blood. I don’t think I can ever unsee your pale, lifeless body.”
“I know. I was scared too, but more for you and how you would react when you realized what you were doing. You weren’t there, Kip. It was like there was no light behind your eyes. They were vacant. That’s how I know that it wasn’t your choice to hurt me.”
“But I did anyway.” I whisper, realizing what this means.
Charlie doesn’t understand what it was like for me. He hardlyknows me. But I don’t hurt people, ever. That’s not who Kip is. Or, I guess, who Kip the human was. I don’t know this version of me, Kip the vampire. And I don’t trust myself.
I’m grateful for everything Charlie did for me the past day, but it has to end. I won’t hurt him again.
Chapter Twelve
Charlie
Vamp Blues
