The King points to the glove compartment, and I open it to find a map of the Broken States. I unfold it with urgency and look for the coordinates.
Cold dread slither around my heart as I realize it’s a day’s travel west of our position. In the direction that Perri took to reach San Francisco.
2
Soulmates.
“All animals feel loss, but none as deeply as humankind. We live long lives and create a network of social connections and affections. We are, above all else, social creatures. The Rise has never better demonstrated this truth. Isolated survivors never survive long in the wastelands. Old gods, wounds, infections, loneliness… everything is out to kill you. Companions mean survival. But when you lose them, and grief threatens to overcome you, seek new connections or perish.”
Extract from a handwritten journal, by Thomas MacKoy, 2056.
ALASTAIR
I am a man who prides himself on his self-control. I had to learnhow to control my nature, as a mutant who shares blood with a deep-sea monster. One slip can mean the death of the people I care for. My fathers made sure I feared and respected the creature within.
But Stellan never learned such skill. In appearance, he looks cold and composed, but the smell of him never lies. Anxiety, anger, passion… He’s a man who feels everything too deeply, and it’s intoxicating.
He sits beside me in the truck, quiet, but I feel his despair. The love of his life, Perri, is gone. And if we don’t find him, Stellan might not survive it.
Such love and devotion fascinates me.
I understand it on a superficial level. Perri and I started seeing each other a few weeks ago. The young man is hard to resist. Like Stellan, he’s intoxicating, but for another reason entirely. He radiates joy, life, lust… His smell is like an explosion of hormones and delight.
As a king, I’m not supposed to mingle with my subjects. It leads to conflicts of interest or betrayal. But Perri eroded my resolve, week after week, with his smiles. He’s not afraid of me like the others. For some reason, he craves the darkness I hide within. He likes to play dangerous games. It’s no wonder Stellan is always so anxious.
The night of the banquet, I nursed my beer away from the revelry. Merchants have a way of indulging too much if given the chance, and I had to keep an eye on everyone. Perri danced to me, wearing a pink tank top and too-tight pants. His long brown hair was unbound, the wavy strands flying around him. He was beautiful. Whereas Jude, my previous lover, had been a dangerous beauty—and I paid the price—Perri was the sweetness of honey. Oh, so tempting.
“Do you want to dance with me?” he asked, bold andunbothered.
I laughed then. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had the balls to ask me.
“I don’t dance.”
“Why? Too human for a big bad mutant like you? Afraid you’re going to look approachable?”
The cheeky little bastard.
A smile tugged at my lips. “Yes. That must be it.”
But Perri wasn’t deterred. He danced closer, and his smell wrapped around me. Clean sweat, citrusy shampoo, and under it all, raw desire. He wanted me. I couldn’t smell a hint of fear.
He offered me his hand, and I couldn’t help but reach for it. A compulsion. Before my brain could even register it, I was pulling him to me. He sat on my lap and his hazel eyes bore into mine.
“Here you are,” he said with mirth. “Not such a big bad mutant.”
“For you, I can learn to be nice.”
Perri laughed. Then he licked his lips, and my eyes zeroed on his soft mouth.
Alarms rang in my head, and my gaze traveled over his shoulder to find his lover, Stellan. He was among the rare ones who didn’t have to look up at me. Tall and muscular, with blue eyes sensitive to the light. He often wore goggles when working under the sun. His hair was light blonde, like the shifting sand in some parts of the wastelands.
Stellan was my best mechanic, I couldn’t afford to be in conflict with him.
He was flirting with a young traveling merchant a little farther away. But his attention never strayed far from Perri, and our eyes met. His expression was unreadable.
Everyone knew the two of them came as a package deal. If you had fun with one, the other was never far. I couldn’t wrap my head around their dynamic.
My attention must have lingered for too long on Stellan, because Perri said, “It’s fine. He’s just making sure I’m safe. He’ll be having a good time tonight, too. Those two have been tip-toeing around each other for weeks.”
