“I found the perfect place to start a new life. There is food, water, and shelter. It’s an abandoned bunker that has been left untouched since before the Rise. A few survivors had been trying to get in for weeks, but there wasn’t enough juice left in the structure to open the gate. All it took was my electricity, but it opened. Finally, I found a place where I could have kept Helios safe. But he’s already gone. I have failed him. It all seems meaningless now. But I keep going. Because what else am I supposed to do? Life finds a way, whether I want it or not.”
Extract of a handwritten journal, by Oliver Kang, 2060.
Margaret comes to help us tow theFireflyback toGears and Giggles. The area surrounding the dam has been completely abandoned by men and gods alike.
It takes a good part of another week to repair the broken aero engine and the damage to the hull. We also rearrange the inside of theFireflyto fit a normal-sized bed for two by getting rid of all the extra chairs and cupboards.
To our surprise, Stellan and Perri appear one evening. They traveled from the market to visit the women. Apparently, the King let them leave, knowing that Jude was here. We take it as a good sign. And word has spread that we saved Gandalf from theHighwaymen. Maybe next time we encounter the King, he won’t try to kill us. That’s a fight I’d rather avoid.
Stellan watches me for a long time after embracing his mothers. Until, at last, he offers me a handshake. He tries his best to crush my fingers, but there is a little smile at the corner of his mouth. I think I won his approval by getting rid of the threat that hung over all their heads. Perri’s smile is brighter as he jumps into Jude’s arms.
We stay for another three days while Perri hacks into theFireflyto improve the AI by merging it with another incomplete Intelligence he had in his computer for years. By the time he’s done, Fyfe has a British accent that Jude finds endearing. He still calls us Mr. President and Mr. Vice President for the hell of it.
On the last night before our departure, Perri walks to me with a bag in his arms. I’ve been working on finishing theFirefly’s new look. We’re covering every surface except the solar panels with reflective sheets to divert sunlight and help fight heat in the desert during the day.
“Here,” he says, dropping the bag at my feet. “I brought you some clothes from the market.”
I raise a brow. “For me?”
“Yes. When I talked to Jude on the radio before leaving, he told me that you still wore the Hawaiian shirt I gave you. He said it suited your bright personality. So, I brought you more.”
I try to keep my face neutral as I open the bag and pull out colorful shirts one after the other. One even has flamingos with sunglasses on it. Bright pink flamingos.
By the time I find it in me to thank him, Perri has a shit-eating grin on his face. The little fucker knows what he’s doing.
“You have to wear them all,” he tells me. “Take it as your rehabilitation therapy. They’ll turn you into a better person. You can’t be mean with those shirts on.”
That’s debatable. I killed a few people while wearing the first one he gave me. I think that would qualify as beingmean. At least to the people who are dead now.
“Very well,” I say fondly. I would wear them every day if it made Jude happy. “Even though I think the things I’ve done over the years won’t be erased by a few flamingos and flowers.”
Perri nods. “You’re right. It’ll take a lot more than that. But it’s a start.”
He pulls out two bottles of beer from his back pockets and hands me one. Stellan appears in the mobile-home door frame. He watches us for a moment before disappearing inside again. Funnily enough, he now trusts that I’m not a threat to Perri.
We sit on upside-down crates and open the bottles. TheHighwaymenused to provide those beers and much more to Margaret and Jess. Now that they’re scattered to the wind, they’ll find themselves lacking. But, thankfully, the traveling merchants should come back to the area. They’ll be fine.
“What will it take,” I ask Perri, coming back to our conversation, “for me to erase all the things that I’ve done?”
“Start by understanding that you can’t erase them,” he says, clinking our bottles together. “All you can do, I think, is balance them out with good things. It’s your job to figure it out.”
“You’re so wise for a teenager,” I say.
Perri scowls. “I’m twenty-one!”
I laugh. I knew it, but Jude’s teasing is rubbing on me. It’s so easy to get a rise out of him.
We drink our beers, and he tells me about his life and the market until Jude and Stellan come sit with us.
Later that night, Jude joins me in bed for our last night atGears and Giggles. TheFireflyis ready, and so are we. He takes all his clothes off, and his lithe body slides over mine. I can never get enough of the feel of his skin on mine. So warm and soft.
Tomorrow, we leave together.
I still think that I don’t deserve any of it. I don’t deservehim.
Jude nuzzles my neck, and I feel his tongue leave a wet trail up to my ear. I shiver.
“Don’t move,” he whispers.
