Grabbing one of my books, I settle in a chair in front of him to read. I enjoy this moment, which is beautiful in its normalcy. I want to stay in this chair reading while Griffin sleeps forever. Nothing can hurt me in this perfect moment.
But everything has an end. I wake up a few hours later; I must have fallen asleep too. There is a blanket draped over me, courtesy of Griffin. He’s gone. In the galley, I see that his plate has been eaten. I’ve missed the opportunity to spend some time with him.
“Beet, what time is it?” I ask.
“Four in the morning. Go to bed, Helios.”
“Oh.”
I walk to my room, feeling forlorn. And as I get into bed, I come to the unavoidable realization that I have a crush on Griffin.
I don’t have crushes. The first and last one I ever had was for Oliver. And we know how that turned out. I’m too practical for crushes. What’s the point when we could die any day? It would just bring useless pain. Sexual encounters? Sure, I’ve done those whenever I could. It gets lonely out there. But that’s all I usually allow it to be. Once we relieve the sexual tension, we can each go our separate ways. That’s how I roll.
I thought I was taking advantage of Griffin, like I always do. Grab the opportunities and survive. And I find myself seduced by his secret smiles and his perfect attention. I have a crush on a mutant living in a giant beetle. A mutant who seems to have zero interest in me besides making sure I’m alive and well.
I spend the next four days looking at him longingly, while he ignores my interest entirely.
“If you want him, you’ll have to do more than that, Helios,” says Beet quietly on the third night since my realization.
I’m washing the dishes after dinner while Griffin chooses a movie in the living room.
I cringe visibly. “Am I that obvious?”
“You’re practically fucking him with your eyes,” she says as a matter of fact. “It’s creepy as hell. But I’m not human, so what do I know about the human mating dance?”
I laugh. “I’m pretty sure I’m not an expert, either. Others usually do the work for me.”
I know I’m cute for a man, and I attract both sides. So I never had to actually do the seduction. It always just happened on its own.
“Well, I can tell you’re not doing a good job,” Beet says.
I groan. “Thanks for the heads-up.” I hold on to the sponge and hesitate. “Does Griffin… Did he have lovers in the past?” I whisper.
“If you’re asking if he’s a virgin, then no. He had a few encounters over the years. But never more than once, and never on the Beetle.”
A blush creeps over my face. Not because I’m a prude. Sex, sadly, has been a part of my life since I was very young. But because Griffin allowed me to live on theBeetlewith him, and I still don’t know why. It’s certainly not because he wants me. And that makes me want him more.
“Does he even like men?” I ask quietly.
Because that would be the biggest stop to my little crush. I hold my breath, dreading her answer.
“Oh, yes. I’ve seen him go with men and women.”
I throw a fist in the air, and Beet snorts. I’m starting to love her little snorts. She sounds so real that sometimes it hurts to know that she’s made of wires and data.
Griffin is waiting for me in the living room.
“What do you have for us tonight?” I ask.
“Game of Thrones. It’s a series they loved in the old days. Beet has all the seasons.”
“I’ve read the books! They’re great.”
“Me too.” He smiles, and I can’t take my eyes off him.
“I hope we get to see the dragons in the first episodes! I love dragons,” I say, sitting on the couch next to him. To make sure that he can’t escape, I throw the blanket over both our laps.
Griffin watches me for a moment. He opens his mouth, as if to say something, but seems to think better of it. Beet turns the lights off as the first episode starts. I wriggle deeper into the couch, getting more comfortable.
