I had taken a moment to rest for one song, watching as Owen spun his wife in a pirouette. He gazed down at her with such raw adoration that I felt a pang of jealousy. I wanted my husband to dance with me and look at me in such a way. It was sickening, really, to see Owen so in love. He was the most unserious person I knew, and yet he had managed the task. Jonathan, being so stern and emotional, should have had the capacity for falling in love. Perhaps he simply wasn’t meant to love me specifically. My heart ached.
“Did you hear me?” Charlotte’s voice came again near my right ear.
“Sorry.” I shook my head fast. Perhaps I was feeling a little lightheaded. “I am not ill. And I must stay here with Margaret. It’s her special night.”
Charlotte stepped in front of me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I will keep a careful eye on Margaret. Look at her. She is quite content dancing alone for a moment.”
There was a glint in Charlotte’s eye that I had seen many times before. She was scheming something. I just knew it.
“Why are you so eager to remove me from the parlor?” I cast her a knowing look. I couldn’t have her thinking that I was oblivious to her mischief.
She rolled her eyes with a sigh. “You mustn’t question me. I promise you will not regret it.”
My heart pounded fast at the sneaky smile on her lips.
“Charlotte—”
“Do not ask questions.” She took me by the shoulders and turned me toward the door. “I would suggest taking your air outside where it’s the most invigorating.”
My head spun, but I allowed her to push me a few paces forward. I would have resisted, but I had seen her speaking with Jonathan a few minutes before.
My legs were suddenly frozen.
I felt Charlotte’s hands leave my shoulders, but I forced myself to follow her instructions. My pulse raced in my ears as I made my way through the corridor. Doubt crept into the corners of my mind. What was awaiting me outside? An ambush? Charlotte was unpredictable, so I couldn’t rule anything out.
I walked down the front steps of the house and down to the gravel of the long, winding drive. Stars dotted the dark sky, a crescent moon suspended among them. The windows ofSouthcliff Manor glowed with candlelight, and I could still hear the faint notes of the instruments coming from inside the parlor.
I stopped halfway down the drive, planting my hands on my hips. I took a deep breath of the seaside air. It was my favorite kind of air, but if breathing was truly all Charlotte had sent me outside to do, then I would be quite confused. I stared out at the iron gate that led to Southcliff Manor, and wondered how different my life might have been in this very moment if I had never crossed through it.
Surely my heart wouldn’t be so confused.
And surely I wouldn’t be standing alone on the drive late at night.
I had just begun to debate whether or not to return to the ballroom when I heard the front door open. I turned at the sound. My heart jumped furiously.
It was Jonathan walking down the steps. He crossed the gravel toward me, and for a moment, I wondered if he had only come outside to scold me for leaving the ball. But as he drew closer, I saw the raw emotion in his eyes. It scalded my heart, leaving me breathless.
“Alice.” He paused a few feet away but seemed to reconsider the distance. In two more strides, he was there—directly in front of me. I tried to take a breath, but I seemed to have forgotten how. Had Charlotte sent him out here?
His dark eyes bored into mine. “I did not respond properly to what you said to me last night on the beach.”
I waited as he gathered his thoughts, my own racing.
“I have thought of nothing else since but of how hateful I have been.” His jaw tightened. “I have withheld my trust from you, I have assumed the worst of you, and I have clung to my misguided opinion of you—all because I have been afraid—terrified—that you did not love me, and that you never could.”
My heart pounded fast, but I hung on each word that fell from his lips. My hands shook, but he took them in his, holding them steady.
His eyes traced over my face. “I know you said that you wished you hadn’t gone for a swim that day, but I’m glad you did. The truth of the matter is, I have wanted you since the moment you flung that crab at my face on the beach.”
I wanted to laugh, but I was afraid I would miss his next words.
He touched my cheek, a soft caress of his fingertips. “I don’t wish to withhold anything from you any longer. I don’t wish to rob you of a single one of your dreams. I adore you, Alice. I love you. If I had nearly as much bravery as you, I would have told you I loved you long before you felt the need to fight for my affections. I can assure you that from his point forward, you shall never have to fight for them again.” He held my face in both his hands now. “Nor shall you have to ask.”
A hoarse laugh escaped my throat, tears welling up in my eyes. His gaze lowered to my mouth, and he traced the edge of my lip with his finger. A shiver followed his touch, spreading all the way down the front of my neck. If he didn’t kiss me soon, then Iwouldask. Heavens, I would beg.
Thankfully, he kept his promise.
His lips met mine softly at first, and then with a fervor that made my head spin. He pulled me to him, arms surrounding me, strong and safe and certain. His lips tasted of spiced punch, and I kissed them until I forgot to breathe. This was only my second kiss, but this time I knew without a doubt that it wouldn’t be the last. Even so, Jonathan kissed me as if he might never do so again.
