ALICE
Iarose early each day, but on Wednesday I awoke an hour earlier to convince Eliza to accompany me down to the beach to watch the dippers at work.
The early morning sun glistened off the surface of the sea. Each lady or gentleman who emerged from the water either sputtered or laughed in pure delight. It was still my ambition to convince Mama or Charlotte to accompany me down to the water, but they were both still resistant to the idea. Such an experience would not be nearly as enjoyable or proper if I attempted it alone.
Even so, I was quite tempted.
Eliza was a suitable chaperone on certain excursions, but not all, and after my display at the Castle Inn, I would need to take great care not to damage my reputation further.
It had only been two days, and the incident had already been mentioned in the gossip section of the papers. It had been brief, but it was still damaging. Thankfully, the cause of my fight with Charlotte hadn’t been traced to Mr. Croft. As far as the publicknew, he was nothing more than a bystander. I would be wise to avoid any public gatherings for the next week in the hopes that people in town would forget.
I was content with that arrangement though, because I had far better ways to spend my time.
Eliza scowled as I beckoned her farther down the beach. She was quite loyal to Mama, and far more concerned with propriety than I was. “Shall we turn back, miss?”
“Not yet.” I trudged forward through the pebbles. Eliza could stop following me if she wished, and judging from the huffed breath that escaped her, she wanted to.
The bustle of the Steine grew distant behind me as I wandered eastward along the Marine Parade. Surely there was a hidden beach I could explore without fear of being judged. At this hour, I was confident I could find a place to sit and listen to the sea while I tried not to wonder how Edmund’s ride with Mr. Croft was going. Why must the two of them be friends? It was bothersome, especially because I was not allowed to think of Mr. Croft any longer.
I shook the image of that man from my head, pressing onward on my quest. The beach narrowed beneath pale chalk cliffs. I smiled up at the seabirds and the interlocking circles their paths traced in the sky. Their cries created a perfect harmony with the sound of the tide rushing in and the sand dragging away from the shore.
After a few minutes of walking, the shore curved, and I came upon a secluded beach. It was small, with more sand than the other stretches of coast I had explored. There was also more rock. Pools of murky water dotted the slippery ground, trapping green strands of seaweed and empty mollusk shells.
A strong breeze undid a few strands of my hair as I stared out at the incoming waves. They were small, gently rolling up thepebbles and sand before retreating just as softly. It seemed like the perfect place for a swim…if I were ever brave enough.
The thought sent a thrill over my skin.
If only I weren’t required to be so proper all the time, so pristine and composed. Inside, I didn’t feel composed. Not now. I had spent the past two days being angry, and sad, and rather bitter. Being so near to the sea had not been good for my manners and conduct. The sea had claimed some power over me, infusing its wild, carefree nature into my soul. I wanted to undo my hair, jump in the waves, and return home to show Charlotte how unladylike I could be. Being the cause of her dismay sounded delightful at the moment, which told me I still hadn’t quite forgiven her for ruining my chance with Mr. Croft.
My heart still ached when I thought of that night at the ball. I craved her support—I craved a friend who would be deviousforme, not against me. She could have helped encourage his affection toward me, but instead she had tried to steal it. I had been trying to forget, but it still stung deep inside my chest, like the moment I had found my favorite doll hidden in her room.
Eliza interrupted my thoughts. “Let’s turn back, miss. ‘Tisn’t safe out ‘ere alone.”
I crossed my arms, turning my back to the sea. Up above the cliffs, a group of ladies strolled arm in arm. They had a clear view of the beach from above. I wouldn’t be dipping my toes in the water that day. Perhaps never.
“Very well.” I sighed, holding up my skirts as I walked carefully across the slick rocks and down to the sand. Eliza’s shoulders relaxed when I returned to her side, and we started our walk back to the beach below the Steine. Gentlemen took their morning rides on the expansive lawn of the Steine, and later in the morning, ladies ventured out to promenade. I tried not to look closely at any of the riders as we walked along thebeach. I doubted Edmund and Mr. Croft would start quite this early, but still, my stomach twisted with nerves.
My legs ached with exhaustion as we finally reached the front door of our townhouse. Mama was likely still asleep, but our cook always started her baking long before the sun rose each day. My stomach grumbled as the scent of fresh scones wafted through the entrance hall. I was already debating my choice of jam when I saw a flash of blonde curls from the corner of my eye.
Charlotte stood frozen near the staircase.
She appeared to be heading for the front door, her maid trailing close behind. Her dark burgundy riding habit fit snugly around her curves, with a matching hussar bonnet resting on her head. “Alice! Good morning.” She flashed a smile as she continued toward the door.
“Where are you going?” The question was more accusatory than I had intended. I whirled to face her. She never arose this early, and I hadn’t seen her wear a riding habit in years. My heart pounded with dread.
“Your mother offered me the use of one of the horses,” she said in a dismissive voice. “I thought I might practice my riding.”
“Alone?”
She released a breath through her nostrils, turning to face me as if it were some great burden to do so. “Your mother is going to be walking nearby. Edmund will also be on the Steine this morning. I shall remain close to him.”
How did she know about his plans to go riding? Heat crept up the base of my neck. “And even closer to his riding companion?”
Charlotte blinked, shifting her weight to one hip. The blank innocence on her face was far from convincing. “A riding companion? Who might that be?”
I narrowed my eyes.
Before I could reply, Mama turned the corner dressed in a white gown with pale pink gloves. She slowed her pace, apparently sensing the tension in the air.
