“Perhaps you do not know him as well as you think.” Papa sighed. “It has only been half a year since you met him. It takes much longer than that to know someone’s secrets.” He lit his pipe and took a deep inhale through it.
Sophia felt as if she had been lit on fire from the inside, and the destruction had already begun. She couldn’t escape the pain that spread through every inch of her. “No. I don’t believe you.”
Papa rifled through a few of the remaining papers on his desk and withdrew a letter. “He wrote you this. I suspect the contents will be similar to what I received from him this morning.”
Sophia fought the emotion clawing at her throat, taking the letter cautiously from Papa’s hand. Isaac had never written to her. He had always claimed that important words should be spoken face to face, rather than written on paper.
Dear Miss Hale,
After much reflection, I am writing to inform you that my intentions have changed. My feelings for you were genuine, as was my hope to marry you, but there are other things to consider in a marriage besides love. I have been forced to be practical, and in my discussion with your father I have learned that your dowry is much smaller than I anticipated. There arerepairs to be made on the house, and considerations to be made for my future. I cannot waver in my determination to find a match who will fulfill my requirements, and nor should you.
I wanted to bid you a proper farewell in person, but I believe Byron’s words: ‘All farewells should be sudden, when forever, else they make an eternity of moments, and clog the last sad sands of life with tears.’
I hope you will succeed in London. I hope you will learn to love another. I hope you will forget me eventually and forgive the pain I have caused.
Sincerely,
Mr. Ellington
Sophia’s hands shook as she lowered the letter, and tears spilled down her face. She wiped at them as she turned around, hiding from Papa’s view.
She had to see him. She had to see Isaac and demand that he say these things aloud to her. Only then could she believe that he truly meant them. On the cliffs the day before, he had seemed so happy. How could he have changed his mind so quickly?
She dropped the letter on the floor. “I am going to speak with him.” She started for the door, but Papa rushed around his desk to stop her.
“I would strongly discourage such an action, my dear. Your mother would agree. A young lady must never beg for a man’s hand, nor declare her feelings so erratically. His decision has been made, and you must learn to live with it. You are better off without him. I do not trust a fortune hunter, nor an indecisive man whose intentions can change on a whim.” He held her shoulders between his hands. “I’m sorry, Sophia. I truly am.”
Sophia’s posture crumbled at her father’s touch, and she stepped into his arms. He held her tight, and she melted into his comforting scent of tobacco and old leather. “I promise, you will find happiness with another.” His deep voice rumbled through his chest. “There are plenty of men in London who will find you sufficient. There are plenty of men who will love you better than Isaac Ellington ever could.”
As Papa held her, Sophia’s gaze fell to the letter on the floor. Through her tears, she read those words again. ‘All farewells should be sudden, when forever, else they make an eternity of moments, and clog the last sad sands of life with tears.’
A sob shook her body,and she struggled to breathe.How could she not make an eternity of this moment? It was the moment her heart was breaking. And she doubted it would ever be the same again.
Chapter Five
Standing on the corner of Mayfair and St. James’s, Isaac took a deep breath. The front door of Blackstone’s loomed ahead, flanked by pillars of golden stone. The night of the masquerade, he had humored Percy with the idea of joining the club.
But now, hehadto be accepted.
If the eccentric Lord Blackstone was to be Isaac’s closest connection to Sophia, then he would fight for his opportunity to be a member of the club. Isaac’s relationship with Lord Blackstone could very well be his only hope of speaking to her again. His heart still stung when he thought of the night before. She had snubbed him. He never should have followed her into the corridor, but he had thought she would have at least cared to know how he had spent the past four years. Instead, she had acted as if she had never known him—as if they hadn’t once been in love.
Perhapsshehadn’t.
Isaac had told himself countless times that she must have never loved him, but he had struggled to believe it. Upon seeing her again, he was finally learning to. Yes, he was about to plead his case to join Blackstone’s in order to be close to Sophia, butnot so he could beg for her heart. It was so he could finally give it back.
If he wanted any hope of falling in love with someone else, he would need to forget Sophia Hale for good. His courtship with Miss Baker had proven that. He needed Sophia to taint the perfect image he still held of her. He needed as many opportunities as possible to see the real Sophia Hale, the one who had written him a brutal letter, who had claimed that farewells should be sudden and forever, and who had pushed him away at the ball the night before.
The girl he had known, bright and beautiful and kind, needed to be destroyed, and Sophia was the only one who could do it.
Isaac took a deep breath before lifting the knocker, which was in the form of a crow’s head. Until then, the exterior of the club had looked perfectly ordinary—a Palladian facade, a neat balcony, and a clean black door. Perhaps this crow knocker was his first sign that Lord Blackstone’s club would be far fromordinary,much like the man himself.
Isaac struck the door with the crow’s beak three times. Within seconds, it was opened at the hands of a doorman. He held a small book in one hand, his eyes flickering over Isaac in a swift, yet thorough manner.
Before the man could speak, Isaac cleared his throat. “Good day, I’ve an appointment with Lord Blackstone.”
“Your name, sir?”
“Mr. Isaac Ellington.”
