I tried to appear calm as I sat in an empty chair. Two women near me whispered something behind their fans. I felt countless eyes shifting in my direction. Alice would likely scold me for deserting my chaperones, but I couldn’t bear to be in that room a moment longer. Surely there was a retiring room or some other place I could hide during the next dance.
So I stood, uncertain of my destination as I fled that glittering ballroom.
CHAPTER 32
Istopped behind one of the pillars in the pink vestibule, pressing my back against the cold marble.
I took the opportunity to calm my heartbeat. My dry throat made it difficult to swallow. Owen deserved further explanation, but not there in that crowded room with so many watchful eyes. He couldn’t hide his emotions from his face as easily as I did. Lady Pembury and Alice had already observed quite enough.
My gaze caught on the nearest door, the dark wooden panels promising far more privacy than the pillar I stood behind. I walked to it, relieved to find that it was unlocked. I slipped inside the room, my eyes adjusting to the darkness.
The fire was lit, providing enough light to see that this was a sitting room of sorts, decorated in blue. On the nearest wall were two portraits, one labeled Theodore, and the other Emmeline. Their surname, Pratt, I had never heard Owen mention. I stared at Theodore’s face—at his kind disposition and dark brown eyes. Emmeline looked much the same, but with a more serious countenance. Perhaps that was how every girl looked who lost her mother at a young age.
I paced the perimeter of the room, willing my heartbeat to slow. I needed to find the strength to return to the ballroom before Mrs. Kellaway came looking for me.
With a deep breath, I fisted my hands and started toward the door. I only made it a few paces before the door opened, and Owen looked inside.
I paused, retreating back a step. His eyes landed on me, and he only hesitated for a brief moment before stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. When he turned the lock, my heart jumped to my throat.
“Owen—”
He strode forward, stopping two paces away. His face held no evidence of his smile from earlier. “Were you engaged all along?” his question snapped through the air between us.
I lifted my chin, keeping my shoulders straight, even though my legs shook beneath me. I couldn’t allow him to break down my resolve. “No. Mr. Frampton did propose before I left for Kellaway Manor, but I hadn’t yet given him my answer. My course eventually became clear to me, and I accepted his proposal.” I swallowed.
“Who is Mr. Frampton?” Owen stared at my face, and I feared once again that he could see straight through me, all the way to my soul.
“The local vicar in Silton.”
His scowl deepened. “You spoke of Silton with such loathing. You said there was nothing there that you loved.”
“I had a change of heart.” My composure hung by a thread. I didn’t want to continue hurting him. I brushed my hands on my skirts with a deep breath, and I could feel my pulse in my neck. A lump formed in my throat as my emotions threatened to spill over.
Owen’s jaw clenched. I sensed his frustration rising. “I know you would never choose to spend the rest of your life in Silton.”
I blinked hard against the tears burning my eyes. I gave an exasperated sigh. “It is done. I am returning there tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” The shock in his eyes sent a pang of grief through my chest. I had to look away. I kept my gaze fixed on the floor, my heart hammering.
“Yes,” I whispered. “My plan was to leave sooner, but then you invited me to this ball.”
“Were you going to leave without telling me? Without so much as a goodbye?”
I bit my lip, fighting the tightness in my throat. “I thought it would be better that way.”
I watched his boots walk closer. I gathered my courage to look up at him. The moonlight reflected off his eyes, revealing the features of his face in silvery highlights and shadows. “How would that possibly be better?”
I set my jaw, glaring up at him. He didn’t know how difficult this was for me. He was only making it worse. “Because I wanted to avoid this very thing! I do not wish to hurt you, or prevent you from dancing with the other ladies here, or from seeking to-to…further your acquaintance with Miss Lyons.”
“Miss Lyons?” He shot me a hard look. “What has Alice been telling you?”
I fell silent, frowning up at him. Bringing up Miss Lyons had been my final defense. “At the garden party, her mother told me the two of you were attached.”
Owen shook his head in exasperation. “She and her mother have always had their hearts set on Edmund, ever since Charlotte was a child, but he has never been welcoming of the attention. When they learned of my inheritance, they turned their pursuit to me. I was frustrated when I saw that Alice had brought Charlotte to visit.” He paused, his features hesitant. I saw a hint of hope in his eyes. “Is that why you have been distant? Is that why you accepted the vicar’s proposal in haste?”
I shook my head. “No! No. That is not why.”
His chest rose and fell with a deep breath, then another. His gaze was unrelenting, stirring up a storm inside me. “Do you love him?”
