His gaze was heavy, pinning my feet to the floor. “Goodnight,” he said.
Would I see him again tomorrow? Perhaps in the morning, but I hoped to leave while he was with patients in the afternoon. Dread sank like a heavy stone in my stomach, and grief was already weaving a blanket over my heart.
“Goodnight.” The word rushed out, and then I turned around, hurrying up the stairs and into my room. My door slammed behind me.
I rushed to my writing desk, where I had discarded Aunt Ruth’s letter. It was crumpled, but still in one piece. That wasn’t good enough. I picked it up and tore it into shreds, until a pile of fragmented words rested on the desk. My skin burned hot withanger and grief as I brushed the pieces up and threw them into the fireplace.
I had glimpsed Owen’s heart in his eyes tonight, but it was like peering through the window of an expensive shop. Within there was so much that I wanted, that I could convince myself I truly needed, but none of it I could possibly afford.
CHAPTER 28
“Mrs. Kellaway?” My voice was little more than a squeak. I cleared my throat and tried again.
She turned around a few paces outside the breakfast room, a hand against the back of her hair. “Annette! I was hoping to find you.”
Relief flooded through me. If she had entered the breakfast room first, I never would have had the chance to speak with her privately. She was a difficult woman to catch alone. I had been up half the night packing my trunk, and had spent the early hours of the morning packing for my brothers. I hadn’t had the heart to tell them about our planned departure yet, but they would know soon enough.
“May I speak with you?” I asked, wringing my fingers together.
“Yes, of course.” Mrs. Kellaway walked with me to the morning room, where we sat side by side. Light streamed through the windows, warming the fabric of the pink sofa.
I hardly knew where to begin. I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. “I-I hope Mrs. Everard explained everything in the drawing room last night.”
Mrs. Kellaway sighed. “She began explaining after you ran out, and when Owen returned, he explained the rest.” She took my hand. “I am so very sorry you were embroiled in that scheme. I am furious at my mother for causing you such distress.”
I gave a quiet nod, biting my lip. “I’m sorry I didn’t confess sooner. She forbade me from doing so.”
Mrs. Kellaway scowled. “She owes you a sincere apology. It was very badly done. She takes her attempts at matchmaking much too far.”
I frowned. Was that all Mrs. Kellaway thought it was? Realization crept up on me. Since Miss Lyons had been in the drawing room the night before, Mrs. Everard couldn’t have mentioned her suspicions regarding her. She must have played it off as solely a matchmaking scheme, not as a method of driving Miss Lyons away.
I cringed as I thought of how happy Miss Lyons must have been to hear that the engagement was a ruse. Thankfully, I wouldn’t have to see her again.
I sat up straighter. “Mrs. Kellaway, you have been very kind allowing my brothers and me to visit your home. I cannot explain how grateful I am.” I swallowed. “I would ask one more thing of you, if I may.”
She blinked in confusion. “Anything, dear.”
“I would like to return home to Silton today. I wondered if you can spare a coachman and carriage.”
Her face fell, and she gripped my hand tighter. “Please don’t allow the recent circumstances to drive you away. We will all forget it soon enough. My mother is the only one who should be embarrassed.”
I looked down. I knew she would make it difficult. “If I may confide in you…there is something I have been keeping a secret.”
She gave me a curious look.
I took a deep breath. “Iamrecently engaged, but not to Owen.”
Her eyes rounded, and she angled her body toward me. “Engaged to whom?”
“The vicar from our local parish. His name is Mr. Frampton. My aunt requires me to return home soon to begin wedding preparations.” My voice was dull. I hated the sound, but I couldn’t have injected any enthusiasm into the words if my life depended on it. Aunt Ruth had made it clear that I was not allowed to confide in the Kellaways about the true nature of the engagement. If they brought the matter to Aunt Ruth, she would fight back. I couldn’t risk it.
Mrs. Kellaway sat still, a slow exhale leaving her lips. “That is…surprising news. Why didn’t you mention it sooner?”
“I wasn’t certain of my answer until recently.” I swallowed hard. “But I have now made up my mind.”
“I see.” Her concerned expression made me feel ill. “I must confess that I ordered you a ball gown that day we saw Madame Fareweather. It broke my heart that you didn’t have one of your own. It would break my heart again if I didn’t get to see you wear it. Please, you must stay until the ball. Owen planned it for you.”
My heart sank. How could I argue with her? One dress had been far too generous already, and now she had purchased me two? The ball was on the first of August, but Aunt Ruth had given me until the end of July. If I wrote her a letter explaining the situation, she might see sense and allow me another day or two in Hampshire. After all that had happened, I could never disrespect Mrs. Kellaway’s wishes.
