She brushed the hair off my forehead, and my heart reeled at her motherly touch. “Of course.”
I relaxed, too numb to even feel the embarrassment I should be experiencing. Everyone left the room, and the last words I heard were from Peter.
“I love you, Annette.”
My heavy sheet of slumber didn’t split for even a moment until the bright sunlight of morning shone through my eyelids, bringing my mind to attention. How many hours had I slept? It seemed to be late morning.
After calling Lizzie, I dressed quickly and raced downstairs. I found my brothers with Mrs. Kellaway and Mrs. Everard in the library. Edmund sat nearby, watching me with a curious look. Surely he was wondering why Owen would have chosen me.
Catching a moment alone with Mrs. Kellaway would be more difficult than I thought, especially under Mrs. Everard’s watchful gaze. Where were Alice and Miss Lyons? Had they left? Had the plan worked already? If so, the ruse could end.
Peter and Charles ran to me, relief flooding their expressions. I needed to prove to them that I was feeling well again, and that they were the most important people in the world to me. I leaned toward them with a smile. “What would you like to do today, Mr. Atrocious and Mr. Mischievous?”
Charles seemed to respond more quickly than if I had called him by name, turning sharply and flashing me a grin. “Which one am I?”
“Hmm,” I mused, feigning deep thought. “You are certainly Mr. Atrocious.”
He smiled broadly, as if I had just flattered him beyond words.
“So I am Mr. Mischievous?” Peter asked with a grin.
“Well, of course you are, Mr. Mischievous.” I ruffled his hair. “And I would like to spend the entirety of this day with my two favorite little gentlemen.”
They laughed, and I almost sighed. It was just what I needed. I needed everything to be the way it used to be. I needed to spend all day with my little brothers and them alone. No wicked grandmothers, or haughty young ladies, or too-handsome gentlemen. My life was in control before I came here to Kellaway Manor. I knew who I was and what my sole purpose was—to care for my brothers. My heart had understood its duties and obeyed me. It had been strong.
But now, it was becoming frail and yielding. I needed to change that. I needed to make it understand what it must contain and what it could and could not feel. I needed to continue preparations for the future that Mr. Frampton had offered me. It was the only thing I could truly depend on.
So today, I was to start by reminding my heart of what was important. And that was Peter and Charles, because they occupied the only two seats in my heart and they always would. My attention had been too scattered; I had been neglecting them.
When I took them outside, my hopes were dashed immediately. Miss Lyons and Alice were in the orangery when I opened the door. A tea table had been set up in front of the bench.
Their conversation halted as soon as they saw me standing in the doorway.
“Miss Downing!” Alice smiled in greeting, casting a quick look in Miss Lyons’s direction. “Are you feeling well again?”
I suddenly wished I had taken longer with my appearance. Alice wore a pretty blue gown and lace gloves, with her auburn hair arranged flawlessly. Charlotte also wore blue, as if the two friends had coordinated their efforts.
“Yes, I am much improved.” I gave a polite smile. “I came to show my brothers the conservatory, but we will come another time.” I turned to leave, but Alice stopped me.
“No, you must join us!” She used her teacup and saucer to point at the empty space on the bench beside Miss Lyons. “You must try one of the lemon cakes. They have been a favorite of mine since my nursery days.”
I hesitated. It would be rude to decline, and Alice had given me no reason to be wary of her. I allowed my brothers to wander and look at the trees as I moved toward the bench.
“I have heard so much about you but have not spoken to you hardly at all,” Miss Lyons said, turning to me as I sat down. “You were the main subject at dinner last night. I must own that I am glad to finally have the opportunity to see what all the rage is about.” Her smile never reached her eyes.
I crossed my ankles with a laugh. I tried to keep my posture as straight as hers. “Oh, no. I don’t usually enjoy being the subject of any conversation.”
Miss Lyons reached for the cream pot on the tea table. She added three slow drops to her cup and took a miniscule sip. “You must be so very lonely in Silton. It would seem that you don’t have many friends, given your hapless situation.” She lowered her voice. “I heard a tale or two about your aunt. She sounds positively wicked! You poor, poor thing.”
Something about the tone of her voice settled uncomfortably in my ears. I cleared my throat to speak, but she continued.
“And you have not even been to Town! To be deprived of such an experience would render me utterly heartbroken. I cannot comprehend the longing you must have for a Season.”
I pressed my lips together until she finished speaking. “I don’t long for it. I find this part of the country rousing enough.”
Her eyes rounded and she looked at me in the way a teacher might look at a pupil. “Town is full of more wonders than youcan possibly imagine. But I don’t expect you to understand its superiority over the countryside given your inexperience.”
My cheeks tingled with a hint of shame.
