“I noticed your pink dress,” he said in a quiet voice. “I was glad to see that you had decided to wear the color again.”
I swallowed. Owen was the only person in the world who knew how large of a step that decision had been for me. He was the only person who wouldn’t call it silly. I had failed to dig his anchor out of my heart, so I felt another firm tug on the rope. We were still connected, and he was still in control of so many of my emotions.
“I wore it once.” I twisted my fingers together. “I might not make a habit of it.”
He leaned closer. “You should. You looked beautiful.”
Of course Owen would try to charm me when I seemed upset. He was good at charming everyone.
“I was thinking about it,” I said, avoiding his gaze, “and I realized that Willowbourne is your pink dress.”
His brow lifted in amusement. “Pardon me?”
“I mean…you told me that Willowbourne was like home to you, but that you haven’t returned since Theodore died. Until today, I hadn’t worn pink since my mother died. I think it is only fair that you promise me you will go back to Willowbourne someday soon. You might learn to love it again.”
He stared at me, a determined look entering his gaze. “Very well. I promise.”
I jolted with surprise. “Really?” I felt a wave of pride, as if I had done something very clever. I accidentally smiled up at him.
He smiled back, tipping his head down to look in my eyes. “It is only fair.”
My heart beat a shallow rhythm. If it was true that he had fallen in love with Miss Lyons in London, then he had only done so because he couldn’t help it. He was thoughtful and kind, enough so to bring pies back from the party for my brothers. It was devastating, really, how thoughtful he was.
Perhaps I didn’t need to begin mourning him yet. We could still be friends, especially today. Upon coming to Kellaway Manor, I had been determined to seize every last moment of my freedom, even knowing it would be gone soon. I could do the same now with my time with Owen. I could enjoy him for one more day before he saw Charlotte again and remembered how inferior I was.
I gave a satisfied nod and crossed the room to choose a book from the shelf. Owen followed me to the table, claiming the chair beside mine. I kept my book open and tried to read, but it was difficult. I felt Owen’s gaze on the side of my face, and I was aware of every single one of his movements as he settled into his chair.
After a long minute, I couldn’t endure it any longer. “Are you going to…read something?”
“I am reading something.” His eyes never left my face.
I closed my book, throwing him a questioning glance. “You are reading…me?”
He smiled, but it was half-hearted. “I’m trying to, but without success.”
I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. “Can we not enjoy a peaceful time readingbooks? You’ve had opportunities to ask me questions when you taught lessons to my brothers.”
He looked down at the table. There still seemed to be something on his mind. “You’re right. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
I stared at the furrow in his brow, slowly picking up my book again. I found the page I had been pretending to read, and kept my gaze focused on the letters. My mind couldn’t form them into words—I was too focused on the signs of discontent in Owen. Seconds passed, but the silence still felt heavy and awkward.
Suddenly, he spoke again. “I didn’t know you were so open to the idea of courtship.”
I looked up, my heart jumping. His eyes met mine, and they were more serious than I had expected them to be.
“Are you referring to the men at the garden party?”
“What else could I be referring to?” His voice was low and irritable.
I shrugged, my ears prickling with heat as I looked down at my book again. “I would have been rude to disagree with your mother. She wanted me to meet them.”
“So you are open to it? Or were you just appeasing her?”
I shrugged. “What young lady in my situation wouldn’t be open to coursthip?” I turned the page, even though I was still staring at the top of it. My heart beat fast in my ears. “I know how bleak my future is if I don’t marry, so yes, I have to be open to it.”
He was silent for a long moment.
My curiosity bested me; I looked up at him. “Is that surprising?”
