I took a deep breath and faced him. His eyes were looking into mine so deeply I felt as though he knew my answer before I said it. “Yes,” I whispered. “But it was a long time ago.”
“Tell me what happened.”
My hands shook as I rubbed them over my skirts. I had never told another person about this. I had been trying to forget for a very long time.
“When we first went to live with our aunt, she was furious,” I said in a quiet voice. “We were left to her husband’s guardianship in my parents’ will, but it was never changed before Ruth became his widow. She never loved her late husband, and so she wanted nothing to do with us. She only took us in because she feared the scrutiny of her acquaintances.” I didn’t dare look at Owen’s face as I continued to the worst part of the story. “During that time, she deprived us of food for several days at a time, but I usually managed to sneak something for my brothers. As a result, I…well, I grew rather thin and she caught me smuggling food from the kitchen one day and threw me to the ground. Because I was so frail, my ribs easily broke, and she never called for a doctor.”
I glanced up for a brief moment. The anger in Owen’s gaze shocked me.
“If she were a man I would call her out,” he seethed.
“Owen—”
He drew closer, stopping my words. I looked down at the wooden floor, but he took my chin between his thumb and forefinger gently, lifting my face to look at his. “She will not hurt you or your brothers again. I promise.” His voice was firm. “I will not allow that to happen.”
I felt the threat of tears stinging my eyes. I quickly blinked them away. Why was my heart behaving so wildly today? Perhaps my ribs had been the last and final cage that could contain it, and whatever happened today had damaged my only remaining defense.
“I willnotallow that to happen,” Owen repeated in a softer voice. There was something in his eyes that convinced me to believe him. If only for the moment.
When I made my way up to my bedchamber, my wet skirts tangled around my legs. Lizzie drew me a hot bath, and I relaxed into the lemon and rosemary scented water. Owen’s words about love, his compliments, and his gentle reassurances all echoed through my mind. I tried to stamp them down. There was something amiss with my heart. It was developing ideas of its own, and sprouting feelings that I was completely unfamiliar with. I dunked my head under the hot water, but it did nothing to clear my thoughts.
This was not acceptable. I needed to gain control of my heart before it began loving things it wasn’t supposed to love. I had a proposal—a certain, dependable thing—waiting for me in Silton. What Owen might have felt for me—what I might have felt for him—were not certain things at all.
My time at Kellaway Manor was temporary, so I would be wise not to grow too attached to it or anyone here. Perhaps it would be good to meet the gentlemen Mrs. Kellaway planned to introduce me to. They might prove that what I was feeling forOwen was not special at all, but rather common. I might like the company of Mr. Baines or Mr. Fields just as much.
And once I knew Mr. Frampton better, he might even make me feel just the same.
That night at dinner, I listened as Mrs. Everard raved about the compliments she had received that day. “Peter told me I had beautiful hair! I haven’t been told my hair was beautiful since it turned grey more than twenty years ago.”
I met Owen’s eyes across the table, suppressing a smile.
“And you wouldn’t believe what happened next,” Mrs. Everard continued. “Little Charles kissed my hand!” She released a hoot of laughter. “I am flattered, to be sure!”
Owen winked at the boys. “Well done,” he whispered.
They looked proud, sitting up straight in their chairs and eating with their spoons.
After an hour in the drawing room, I took my brothers to their room, as was our new routine. I tucked Charles into bed first, then Peter. He blinked up at me, his blue eyes round with sincerity. “I love you, Annette.”
Charles scowled. “I wanted to say it first.”
Peter rolled over. “You were too late.”
I sighed, biting back my laughter. “I love you both, and it is never too late to say it.”
Charles took a deep breath, his temper simmering back down to normal. He gave me a smile that tugged at my heart. “I love you the very most.”
CHAPTER 19
In the morning, Mrs. Kellaway greeted me with a warm smile. “I trust you slept well?”
“I did, thank you.”
She leaned toward me from across the breakfast table. “I would like to speak with you a bit more about the garden party tomorrow. I noticed you seemed a little overwhelmed with the idea of meeting so many of my acquaintances. I want you to be comfortable.”
I looked down at my plate. My stomach pooled with dread, but I tried my best to hide it. “I confess Iamworried that I don’t know how to behave at large social gatherings, and especially around eligible gentlemen. I—I also don’t have a gown that suits the current fashions. Perhaps I should stay in the house with my brothers.”
She threw out her hand. “Nonsense. We can take you to the modiste today. Madame Fareweather has several gowns already made that she can alter to fit you. For me, she will have your alterations finished, boxed, and delivered by tomorrow morning. I am sure of it.”
