Owen split the orange and handed me the larger half.
I took a bite, my mouth flooding with juice. The pulp was tough, but the orange was sweeter than I had expected. Bitter tartness came as a light aftertaste. Owen watched my face for a reaction.
“Delicious,” I said after a swallow.
He grinned. “If you are ever in need of a place to think, or to find a sense of peace, there is nowhere better than this bench with an orange and a rainstorm. It is the perfect combination.”
My gaze flew to his. “I had wondered how captivating it would be in the rain.”
He took a bite of his orange. “There is nothing like it.”
“I will have to try it.”
He met my gaze with a soft smile.
A creak sounded from the end of the conservatory. The door opened near where Mrs. Berney still stood. A footman strode inside, stopping in front of Owen with a small letter. He unfolded it, reading the brief words.
“I must see to a patient,” Owen said with a glance in my direction. “Although I would much rather stay here with you.”
I averted my gaze, feeling suddenly hot and nervous. “I should be going too.”
“No, stay.” Owen gave me an encouraging smile. “Enjoy the quiet a little longer. You must at least finish your orange while you are here.” He folded the note again and stood.
I laughed, but gave a small nod. His gaze and smile lingered on me a few seconds longer as he backed away, then turned, following the footman to the door. He whispered something to Mrs. Berney, who then followed him and left me alone in the orangery.
I watched Owen’s retreat through the glass walls, taking a deep, shaky breath.
I heard each of my inhales and exhales in the silence. The breeze outside had faded. If I listened closely enough, I might even hear my own heartbeat.
I broke off a wedge of the orange, listening to the rushing sound as it tore through the silence like a strong current. I was rarely alone, and rarely in such a beautiful, peaceful place. There was nothing to stop Owen’s words from echoing in my mind.You have been enduring the same pains as your brothers all these years, but with a greater understanding of what you have lost.
I steeled myself and closeted my emotions. Perhaps if it was raining, the silence would be more bearable. Memories filled my mind and, in an effort to stop them from coming, I closed my eyes.
They came anyway.
CHAPTER 12
FIVE YEARS BEFORE
The dry autumn leaves crunched beneath my boots, tiny flecks billowing up to the hem of my gown. The sun had barely risen and was casting deep peach and orange rays over the dew-covered grass. I cradled Charles in my arms, keeping his small round cheek pressed against the warmth of my chest. Peter tottered along beside me, one hand grasping mine. His fingers were nearly as cold as mine were, and his cheeks and the tip of his nose were rosy from the bite of the crisp morning air.
We were approaching the edge of the lawn where our phaeton was prepared to convey Mama and Papa to Kellaway Manor, the home of their closest friends. It had been quite a long time since they had made the trip, and I was now old enough to help the nursemaid look after my brothers.
I smiled as Papa scooped Peter up and placed a kiss on his rosy cheek. Peter giggled and squirmed from his arms, eager to return to the entertainment of the dry, crunching leaves. Papa’s green eyes shifted to me with a smile dancing around them. I moved into his outstretched arms. I leaned my head againsthis chest, Charles encased between us. “I will miss you,” I said softly. And I meant it, even though I knew he would only be away for a week.
“Are you certain you don’t want to come with us?”
I nodded.
“Very well, then I will miss you too, Anne.” Papa reached down to tweak my nose.
I batted his hand away, laughing, and moved to Mama. She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. I buried my face in her shoulder, inhaling the floral smell of her rose perfume. Her blond curls fell on Charles’s face, making him giggle. He grabbed a strand with his tiny hands, trying to stuff it in his mouth.
Mama pulled away and laughed, a quiet bubbling sound, and smoothed a hand over his peach fuzz hair. Then she waved Peter away from his leaf crunching and pulled him into a hug. “We will see you next week,” she said, looking at me now. “Help the nursemaid look after the boys while we are gone. Do not become distracted with unimportant matters. While we are away, the boys are to be your only concern. Your papa and I are trusting you with a great task.”
I lifted my chin. “I promise they will be my only concern. I will care for them perfectly.”
She smiled then, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek, and stepped toward the phaeton. “I have no doubts that you will keep that promise in one perfect piece.”
