Somehow, I had to make my feelings known to him.
I had never been so bold in my entire life, but Lady Tottenham seemed to have influenced me. Nothing good came from waiting and wishing. If I knew that I loved Alexander, I had to tell him. With the house party winding down to its final days, Lady Tottenham was sure to have a full schedule. It would be difficult to find a moment alone with him.
There was also the matter of breaking my ties with Miles. My heart ached, resisting the idea. He had etched himself on my heart long ago, leaving behind an open wound. But now, that love was like a scar. It had grown over and healed, and nearly disappeared, but it would always be there to remind me of him. The memory of him was dear to me, but the truth of his character had tainted it. I had fallen in love with his facade, and now that the layers were peeled back, my feelings were gone.
I took a deep breath, preparing for what was sure to be another eventful day. My heart fluttered with nerves as I walked into the breakfast room.
Alexander wasn’t there. I sat beside Victoria instead. She was the only woman besides Lady Tottenham who didn’t seem to despise me after learning of my prize.
“You look lovely,” I told her as I glanced yet again at the empty doorway.
“As do you.” She smiled, touching one of her blonde curls. “You must be so very excited to form your new wardrobe. You will be able to afford the most fashionable fabrics and trims.” She sighed. “You must allow me to come with you to the modiste when you plan your new evening gowns.”
I hadn’t even thought about building a new wardrobe, but I supposed it would be essential if I planned to attend events in London. Given the public knowledge of my wealth, dressing the part would be expected of me. I hated to speak of the money that was not yet mine, especially with a living, breathing Lady Tottenham sitting in the same room. “Of course,” I said in in a quiet voice. “If I can, I will buy you a gown as well.”
Her eyes lit up.
Victoria prattled on about her favorite fashions of the year, and I listened, taking note of her observations. I kept one eye on the door.
Alexander never came to breakfast. A walk around the square was planned for the later hours of the morning, but he didn’t join us for that either. A seed of worry planted itself in my stomach. Where was he?
I matched my pace with Lady Tottenham’s. She had informed me at breakfast that she had further training required of me that afternoon in the study, but I hadn’t spoken to her since. The day was cold enough that she didn’t require a maid to follow her with a fan, but she did have one holding her parasol. Her pace was slow, her cheekbones appearing more prominent than I remembered. Her mood indicated that she was feeling well, but her appearance contradicted it.
“I wonder where Alexander is this morning,” I said, wringing my fingers together. “Have you seen him at all?”
She glanced at me with one eyebrow raised. “I haven’t. Perhaps he feels disregarded after your constant attention to his brother yesterday.” Her unmasked disapproval made my steps falter.
“There is a long history between Miles and me.” I searched for the words to explain what I meant.
“I suspected as much. Tell me more.”
I explained as much of the history as I could without boring her. “Yesterday was the first time I had seen him before marrying the baron. He claims to have noble intentions, but…I have lost trust in him.”
Lady Tottenham’s nose wrinkled. “The moment I met him I smelled a fortune hunter. I have cast away a multitude of such men in the decades since my husband’s death. I have quite a sense for it. Mr. Miles Holland is charming, but marrying him will not result in your happiness. I strongly advise you against it. I do not like him. Not one bit. My endorsement will be for dear Alexander until my dying breath.” She shot me a stern look.
I straightened my shoulders. “I assure you. My decision became clear yesterday evening.” I took a deep breath. “You were right. I do love Alexander.”
“Good.” She pursed her lips. “If you had married his brother, I fully planned to retract my inheritance.”
I hid the shock from my face.
“Has Alexander proposed?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Not…officially. I am worried about why he isn’t here today. He and Miles have fought before, and I dread what will happen if they do so again. I cannot bear the thought of a duel.” My heart sank. Would it come to pistols or swords? Terror shot up my spine. What if they had met at dawn?
Lady Tottenham sighed. “With Mr. Miles Holland’s inept ability at archery, I would wager my entire fortune on Alexander’s success were they to duel.”
I scowled at the ground as we walked, my mind racing.
“Oh, stop fretting, child. Alexander will return soon enough, I am certain of it. When he does, I will provide you with an opportunity to speak with him alone.” She winked. “I have proven my competency at the task before, have I not?”
She most certainly had.
Her devious smile left me with no question that she had been responsible for the locked door of the hexagon room the night I discovered the key.
My stomach still twisted with dread at the notion that Alexander might have dueled Miles. Their argument hadn’t been completely settled the night before, and Miles was undoubtedly angry about how Alexander had intervened. If their quarrel over me put either of them in danger, I would never forgive myself.
The day carried us into the afternoon, and Victoria took me to her room to show me her favorite fashion plates. I enjoyed her company, but a sinking feeling followed me everywhere I went. At dinner, Alexander’s chair was still empty.
