She walked faster, apparently eager to escape me. I let her go, kicking at a puddle of water in the grass. I rubbed the back of my neck, cursing under my breath. Despite his unworthiness, she needed to grieve Miles if I ever hoped to win her heart.
My impatience might have cost me the opportunity.
CHAPTER 25
ANNE
Ididn’t stop walking until I reached my bedchamber. My heart pounded so hard it hurt. My lips still burned from Alexander’s kiss. I burst through the door, closing it firmly behind me. I paced across the room, wiping at a tear on my cheek. I stopped in front of the looking glass, catching sight of my wild eyes and flushed lips.
What had I done?
That kiss had not been part of a game. It hadn’t been a forfeit. I had no excuse. Though Alexander had started it, I had been a willing participant. Butterflies still raged in my stomach. I should have pushed him away from the first touch of his lips, but I was weak. Pain radiated around my heart, spreading through my arms and fingers. I pressed a hand to my chest as a lump formed in my throat. A sob rattled my body, and I leaned over the vanity table to steady myself.
Was it true? Had Miles changed his mind?
How could he change his mind before seeing me one last time? It wasn’t fair.
The day had been exhausting and confusing enough already before Alexander had all but proposed to me. He had left me with no question about his feelings. My heart had never been more conflicted. How could I trust what Alexander told me about Miles? He had initiated the brawl with Miles on the street that day.
Was it his jealousy that caused it?
What if Miles did plan to be true to his word, but Alexander was simply making one last attempt to turn me against him? He could have lied about his conversation with Miles. I needed to find him to learn for myself what his intentions were.
I wiped the last of my tears from my cheeks. For the moment, it would be wise to bury my conflicting emotions. I had nothing to cry about. Today should have been the most thrilling, happy day of my life. I was the heiress of Birch House and Lady Tottenham’s fortune. That needed to be at the front of my mind. Her announcement would be made in the morning. I needed to rest.
But as I fell asleep, all I could think of was Alexander. His dark eyes, his wet hair, his white shirt clinging to his chest, his sweet words, his kiss, his arms around me…it all played out in a never-ending circle. I couldn’t turn back time. That moment would haunt me forever.
My eyes were puffy as Jane arranged my hair in the morning. I chose my brown floral morning dress before making my way downstairs. I was more restless than usual, jumping at every sound behind me on the staircase. I didn’t know what I would do if I encountered Alexander before reaching the safety of the room full of guests. I didn’t know what I would say to him or how to behave.
I stopped at the breakfast room door with a forceful breath.Relax,I demanded. My nerves had multiple causes, one of which was about to unfold. If Lady Tottenham was well enough to join us at breakfast, she had promised to make an announcement to the household about my victory in her game. I squared my shoulders before entering the room.
Lady Tottenham sat at the head of the long table. Victoria, Octavia, and Mrs. Pike stood at the sideboard. All the men had already assembled their plates and were sitting at the round table.
Alexander wasn’t there yet.
Relief streamed over me. I released the breath in my lungs. Upon noticing my entrance, Lady Tottenham waved me forward, gesturing at the open chair nearest her place at the head of the table. I gave a gracious smile, crossing the room to join her.
“You look well,” I said. “Are you feeling much improved?”
Her thin brows lifted. “Oh, yes. I couldn’t miss the opportunity to make my announcement this morning.”
My stomach twisted. Octavia was listening. She set her plate down at the table, tipping her head to one side as she observed my position beside Lady Tottenham. I usually sat at the round table beside Alexander, but that would not be happening today.
Where was he? Was he still avoiding the party? I dared a look at the doorway, my heart beating a shallow rhythm. I didn’t know whether I wanted to see him or not. What would he think when he heard Lady Tottenham’s announcement? I wanted to explain everything to him—how I had found the locket, gone to London, and dared to knock on Lady Tottenham’s bedchamber door.
But how could I face him?
How could we ever interact the way we used to?
That kiss had changed everything.
“Are you all right, my dear?” Lady Tottenham’s round green eyes tugged me out of my thoughts. I had been staring at the door for too long.
“Yes, of course.” I forced a smile.
“What would you like? Eggs? Toast? Nectarines?” She snapped her fingers, apparently signaling the nearest footman to pick up a plate.
“Oh—the fruit would be sufficient.”
