She nods, “Alright. As soon as it’s ready, I’ll bring your meal over to you.”
With that, she slips from the room leaving me to my thoughts.
I count in my head, trying to remember how many days I have been in here so far. For the first week, I remained strapped to this very bed in the same room,staring at the ceiling until time stopped meaning anything. The doctors and nurses seemed afraid that I would hurt myself or someone else, but I already did that in order to end up here myself. Isn’t that what we are all here for? Too crazy for the outside, so they coop all of us crazies in one big house together.
Doesn’t seem like the best idea. We could all rebel and take over like that movieV for Vendetta. That is my favorite movie, or at least one of them. Anything that involves standing up to the hierarchy has my ears perked at the mention of it.
Here though, you are sedated and kept in a padded room for the rest of your days. That’s scarier since some of the male nurses, and even the female nurses like to sneak into the rooms to play with the patients while they are unable to give consent.
One girl, Teresa, she fought this other chick on day one and ended up in solitary for six days. One minor fight was all it took for her to be fully separated from every other patient for an unpredictable amount of time. I didn’t even have to ask her what happened. I seen the look in her eyes when they dragged her back into the common room. Her legs lazily oozed behind her as they walked through the doorway, placing her into a seat just in the corner of the room.
She sat there, as still as can be, with the gaze of someone who had their strength ripped away.
I knew it all too well.
Luckily, I don’t have to know it in here though.
This is my escape from that God awful place.
Dad won’t be able to touch me in here.
Sure, I am likely confined to one building for the rest of my life. But at least here, if I act right, I’m safe. The nurses seem to all like me too.
Outweigh the negatives with the positives.
That’s what Dr. Fernandez says to do.
So I’m planning to continue to do that while remaining on my best behavior. I’d rather not end up like Teresa.
Not after being like her almost my entire childhood.
With quiet steps, I make my way into the hall.
I keep my eyes trained on my feet with each step I take, so that I don’t trip myself. I am one hundred percent a klutz. But I guess me over watching my feet defeats the point of trying to avoid an accident as I collide into another chest.
“Oh, Chloe. I was just coming to tell you that your meal is finished up.” Mrs. Regina throws her head forward ushering me to follow her. “Come on, hun. You can follow me down there.”
I do as I am told and continue to let her lead even though I am already headed in that direction.
She means well, but it is as if she is trying to correct me on my path like I was headed somewhere other than the place I told her I was going. It’s like being compared to achild running rampant in Walmart. The type that hides in the clothes racks, plays hide and seek behind the toilet paper and gets caught by the employees.
We walk over to one of the center tables in the auditorium.
The tables are all metal, same as the chairs. They also match the interior of the establishment.
Everything was either white or silver.
I still feel the need to give the director or whoever runs this place a talking to about color.
This is definitely one way to drive someone even crazier than they already are. To put them in a space that feels endless. All one solid color. I mean, at least we have windows but still.
I sit down in the chair she points to, automatically grabbing one of the plastic forks. We aren’t allowed to have silver cutlery. It’s a smart move, but I still feel as though someone can figure out something dangerous to do with the plastic as well.
Today’s menu consists of mac and cheese and broccoli, which I in no way object to. That type of meal is absolutely divine even in a place like this.
I turn to thank Mrs. Regina, but she already saunters off to speak to another patient.
I focus on the meal, shoveling down a few heavy bites, followed by me chasing them with the sweetness of the small apple juice box they gave me.
