Then, without a word, she turned and left the goddess on the shore, climbing the dunes towards Dun Mallach and everything that awaited her there. Yes, she knew what she had to do.
But first, she wanted to say goodbye.
Chapter Seventeen
She found himstanding on the battlements, hands resting on the crenellations, staring out to sea. She’d gone first to Catriona’s room but, not finding him there and being told by Maggie that she’d ordered him to go and get some rest, she’d scoured the keep.
The whole castle was strangely subdued. Everyone had been affected by the news of Catriona’s illness, and the warriors and household staff alike wore haggard expressions as they went about their business.
It was two anxious warriors who told Rose where to find him. They were keeping a worried eye on him from below, hanging around at the base of the steps that led up the battlements, in case their laird should need them. Rose thanked them and climbed warily up the steps.
Coming out onto the walkway that spanned the top of the curtain wall, she had to squint against the sunlight reflecting off the sea in the distance and shade her eyes as she scanned the battlements. She found him almost immediately, gazing out to sea, his form nothing more than a silhouette against the brightness.
She walked over to him. “Cailean?”
He turned, and the despair written across his face almost stopped her heart. But his expression softened when he saw her.
“Rose,” he breathed, and took a half step toward her. “Where haveye been?”
She waved away his question. “That’s not important. What is important is that I know how to break the curse.”
His eyes flared with hope. “What? How?”
“I spoke to Lir. Hemkirk is the key. That’s where this all started, and that’s where it will end. I have to go back there.”
“Then I’m coming with ye.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Your place is here, with your people. With your daughter. Not chasing shadows with me.”
“There is naught I can do here,” he replied, his storm-dark eyes meeting hers. “Ye think I can turn my back on ye now?”
She raised a hand as if to touch him but let it drop. There were maybe three or four paces between them, but it felt like a hundred miles. “You have to.”
His nostrils flared. “What is it ye are planning? How will ye break the curse?”
She shrugged, trying for a nonchalance she didn’t feel. “I’ll use my powers.”
“Yer powers? But that didnae work before.” His eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Don’t ask me any more, she thought.Don’t make me lie to you.
“That’s because I didn’t fully understand it before. Now I do. Now I know what it will take.” Now she did step forward, laid her hand on his arm. “You have to trust me, Cailean. Can you do that?”
He gazed down at her, and she saw a storm of emotion in his eyes. Emotions that mirrored her own. She wanted to step into his embrace so badly she could barely breathe. She wanted to tell him how she felt about him so much that the words burned in her chest. But she could not. She had known from the start that nothing could come of what had happened between them. Speaking such things now would only hurt all the more.
He opened his mouth and then closed it again. His throat bobbedas he swallowed. “Ye know I trust ye,” he said at last. “I would trust ye with my life just as I trust ye with my daughter’s life.”
His words filled her up inside, like the warmth of a fire on a cold evening. She doubted he realized just how much they meant to her. Catriona was the most precious thing in his life. He would die for her if needed. And he trustedherwith Catriona’s life. Nothing he could have said could have meant as much.
She felt tears pricking her eyes and blinked furiously to stop them from falling. Cailean was there in an instant. All the awkward reserve that had existed between them snapped, and he took her face in his hands and brushed away the tears from the corners of her eyes with his thumbs.
“Oh, my dear lass,” he said. “Please dinna cry. I canna bear it.” He gently kissed the top of her head. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
I’m terrified is what’s wrong, she thought.Terrified that I’ll fail. Terrified that I won’t be able to keep my promise to you. But most of all, I’m terrified that if I do succeed, I’ll never see you again.
She forced a wry smile onto her face. “In case you haven’t noticed, things have been a little… difficult around here of late.”
His lips quirked. “Aye, ye willnae get any argument from me on that.”
