He didn’t flinch from her touch, but he didn’t look at her either. His voice was hoarse. “I carry it with me, every day. That I couldnaekeep our daughter from losing her mother.” He looked down at his hands, fingers curled in tight. “I thought being laird meant I had to save everyone. And when I couldn’t, it near destroyed me.”
Rose’s fingers found his and squeezed. “I’m sorry, Cailean.”
He turned his head to look at her. “I dinna tell ye this in order to garner sympathy. I tell ye this because I dinna want ye to make the same mistake I did. I dinna want ye to let the weight of responsibility choke ye. Ye arenota failure, Rose MacFinnan. Dinna ever think ye are.”
A faint smile curled her lips. “You are a better man than you give yourself credit for, do you know that?”
“And ye are far braver than ye know, Rose MacFinnan.”
Their fingers were still entwined, warm against the cold of the storm. Cailean looked down at them. He had not touched another woman since his wife had died, with the exception of their one kiss. He’d closed off his heart for Catriona’s sake and for his own, unwilling to risk such hurt ever again.
But Rose MacFinnan’s fingers in his own feltright. Being in her company felt right. Here they were, trapped in a hut in the middle of a storm, both drenched to the skin, and yet he didn’t want to be anywhere else.
He stroked his thumb across her hand, such a tiny, delicate touch, but it sent sparks through his blood. Rose’s lips parted and a slow breath escaped her. She tightened her fingers on his for a second, but in the next instant, she snatched her hand back and moved away slightly, putting more distance between them.
Cailean felt suddenly cold, despite the roaring fire. “I’m sorry, lass,” he said. “I didnae mean to—”
“It’s fine,” she said without looking at him. “Honestly, it’s fine.”
It clearly wasn’t fine. He had clearly overstepped the mark. He cursed himself for a fool. Damn it!
“Rose, listen—” he began, but she cut him off.
“You terrify me.”
Cailean blinked. “I’m sorry?”
She was still staring at the fire, hugging her knees as though trying to keep herself together. Without looking at him, she said, “When my marriage broke down, I swore I would never, ever, make the same mistake again. I would never allow myself to feel like that ever again.”
Now she did turn to look at him. “But you…” she said, and her voice was barely a breath now. “You make me feeltoo much, Cailean. And it terrifies me.Youterrify me.”
Cailean stared at her. Was she saying what he thought she was? His heart was suddenly racing. He had to swallow a few times before he could speak.
“I swore the same,” he said, voice thick. “After Mary. But with you I feel like I’m waking up after a long winter. I dinna understand it. I dinna know what todowith it. But I canna ignore it either.”
She gazed at him and the silence between them pulsed. Then slowly, hesitantly, she reached out, her hand grazing his. The touch was light. Barely there. But it undid him.
He shifted closer, until their knees touched, and reached up to brush a strand of wet hair from her face. His thumb lingered at her cheekbone, and she leaned into his hand as if it steadied her.
He couldn’t stop himself any longer. His heart was thumping like a drum in his chest and his hand against her cheek trembled slightly.
He kissed her.
Not gently, not hesitantly—hungrily, like a dam breaking and letting loose all the pent up desire that had been building for days. Rose responded with equal heat, rising to meet him, her hand curling into his shirt, pulling him closer. Their mouths met again and again, the storm outside forgotten, the fire crackling loud in their ears.
Cailean broke the kiss with a ragged breath, resting his forehead against hers, trying to find his footing in the whirlwind of want and tenderness that swept through him.
“I should be angry with ye still,” he murmured, voice rough.
Rose gave a breathless, shaking laugh. “I know.”
“But I’m not,” he said. “I’m just… afraid of what comes next.”
“So am I,” she whispered. “So am I.”
Chapter Fifteen
This all seemedso unreal, like she’d slipped into a dream. Had Cailean really just said what she thought he had? Did he really feel the same way she did? Rose hardly dared breathe in case this moment shattered around her like glass.
