“Yes, well, it’s not happening. I know I should want a wife because of Florence, but I am not ready.”
“If you say so,” Anthony said.
“I do say so,” Toby added.
“Show us the list,” Jamie said.
He pulled it out reluctantly from the pocket he’d forced it into. Opening it, he felt dread grip him. He shut it again.
“What?” Jamie demanded.
“I’m not sure, but I don’t think I want to read it. If I read it, then I’ve acknowledged this list, and what your aunts want me to do.”
“You’re an adult. No one can make you do what you don’t want to, Toby,” Anthony said, snatching the list from his grip. He then opened it and was soon laughing. Jamie leaned closer to read the names and joined his friend.
Toby snatched the list back and looked at the three names written in black ink. Reaching the last of the women who would supposedly make him an excellent wife, he understood their laughter.
Lady Liberty Talbot.
*
Toby did notstay at the ball much longer after that. His friends had spent the rest of the evening heckling him over the names on the list, and then there was Florence. Worry for her had niggled in the back of his head. Was she all right? What if she woke and needed him, which she’d never done before, but tonight could be that night?
Toby wasn’t sure how it had happened, as he’d not even had a conversation with the little girl, but he’d changed since she’d entered his life. He wanted to label it as vulnerable, but as he’d vowed to never be that again, he didn’t. But one little girl who carried his blood had done what no one else could. She’d made him feel.
Not quite true. Since Liberty reentered his life, she’d made him feel, too.
Entering his townhouse silently, Toby went to his room and took off his boots, jacket, and waistcoat. Then he did what he did most nights before he retired. He went to stand outside the nursery. Barnaby would be in there with Florence, keeping her safe, but he still hated that she could be in there alone and upset. Her nanny would have sought her bed by now.
There was, as usual, no noise, and that was a sign for him to leave.He hesitated with his hand on the door and then opened it and entered.
Toby didn’t see her at first, but when his eyes went to the window, he found her under it. She sat on the floor in a shaft of moonlight hugging the blonde-haired doll under one arm, and Barnaby lying beside her, her other hand on his fur. Her eyes were on him as he approached. Toby did so slowly, unsure of his next move. When he reached her, he dropped to the floor beside Florence, kneeling. She was crying, and his heart burned for her pain.
Barnaby’s tail gave a thump on the floor, and Toby ran a hand over his soft head.
“I’m so sorry you are hurting, Florence.”
Totally at sea, he went on instinct and continued talking.
“I lost someone I loved when I was young. My brother Mathew. He was my friend, and I missed him so much. I cried a lot too. We used to play together every day.”
She looked at him through those sad eyes.
“I was so sad, and I wanted him back. Angry too that my brother had left, and I didn’t have him in my life anymore. I felt lost.”
Florence turned her head from him, and then she was picking up the black-haired doll. She handed it to Toby silently. He hugged it close.
“Does hugging your doll make you feel better?” And that was possibly the stupidest thing he’d ever said. As if a doll could make her feel better.
“I miss Mummy and Daddy,” she whispered in a husky voice. They were the first words she’d spoken to him.
“I know,” he said, holding her gaze. “I’m pleased you brought Barnaby with you. I haven’t had a dog in many years, and having him here makes me realize how much I miss that.”
They sat there looking at each other for a while in silence, and Toby worked through what he wanted to say to her. She was only fiveyears old, so he had to temper his words so she understood them.
“I want to be your friend like Barnaby, Florence. I want us to be friends and spend time together. I don’t have a child, or family, but I would like you and Barnaby to be that, if you’ll let me.”
Toby leaned in closer and wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb and she let him, which to him was a win.
