“I think Miss Logan will make you a wonderful wife.”
“You cannot be serious?”
“Perfectly, but right now I need to ensure my stable master is not feeding my brother-in-law to any of my horses. Come along, Stephen, and after, we will take tea… with Miss Logan.”
CHAPTER 40
Garland Hall settled into a reasonably harmonious household over the next week. The staff enjoyed having guests, which they had not had for many years. They loved the sound of a child’s running feet through the halls and Timmy’s laughter. Patrick, too, was happy… and would be even more so if Jack Spode could be run to ground.
Every time Sophie was out of his sight, he felt a slither of panic, even though he knew she was safe. Spode was in London.
Sophie.She had brought something into his life he hadn’t known he was missing. Happiness. The small cold knot of pain that he’d always carried was unraveling. She was healing him, and Patrick could feel himself changing.
He’d woken early and gone to the nursery to find Timmy already awake. His nanny, clearly an early riser, too, had dressed him, and now they were outside, walking through the gardens.
“We’ll pick flowers for Fee.”
“I think she’d love that, Timmy.”
He was growing to love this boy, too, and already loved his enthusiasm and laughter. He had a strong will that often clashed with Sophie’s, and when Letty was not there, it would be Patrick who stepped in to mediate.
“Good morning, Timmy.”
Amelia Logan was coming toward them in yet another ill-fitting dress with Doddy at her side. She looked sad, Patrick thought.
“Are you well, Miss Logan?”
“Amelia, please.”
“And I am Patrick,” he said.
“I am not unwell, Patrick, just sad.”
“My parents had no capacity to love, Amelia,” he said slowly. “It is not an easy thing to bear. I had sisters who did love me, so I was lucky.”
She sighed. “I think my mother is incapable of love.”
“But not always, as I understand it,” he said, remembering what Sophie had told him about her mother and Letty being friends.
“No, not always, but for as long as I can remember. She can find no good in the world. Nothing to make her happy—not even me.”
“Which is surely her fault and not yours. The blame does not lie at your feet, Amelia, and it took me many years to realize that and stop trying to seek out something my parents would never give me.”
She looked up at him with sad eyes. “Love?”
“Yes, love. I closed myself off from that for many years because I had no wish to ever be hurt again. I would not wish that for you, Amelia, especially as you are not alone and have a family here.”
A tear rolled down her cheek.
“I kept trying to change her. To do everything she wanted of me, but it is never enough,” she whispered.
“We are all who we are because of our past, and your mother is no different. Her burdens are hers alone. Don’t let them become yours.”
To his surprise, she rose to her toes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, and allow me to say that I can see how happy you have made my friend, so thank you for that also.”
He watched her walk away and wondered at the changes in him. The old Patrick would have avoided a conversation like that by running fast in the opposite direction.
Smiling, he collected Timmy and continued on with their walk.
