“It wasn’t. I know you think you can protect us all from the danger you are in, but perhaps you need us to protect you.”
He was coming to the realization that they were not going to let him deal with Radcliff alone, no matter how much he wished it. Was he ready to accept that?
“I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye, Dorrie.” Lifting her, ignoring the small squawk of outrage, he settled her on his lap. It was a tight squeeze, but he managed it. Tilting her chin so their eyes met, he then kissed her.
He felt like a man who had been waiting an eternity for a drink, and finally his thirst was quenched. She didn’t exactly melt against him, but she didn’t fight him either.
“Why are you in here kissing me?” She was the one to pull away. “You said you wanted nothing more from me than what happened at Oaks Knoll. I agreed.”
Her face was so close to his, but unlike before when he’d seen every emotion, now she was closed off from him.
“Ask me instead to chart a course to Jamaica.” He touched the long raven lock that sat on her shoulder, rolling the texture between his fingers.
“I don’t want to go to Jamaica.”
He snorted softly.
“You are not being fair to your brother, Ash. He lost you for many years, believing something that was not true, and then you leave him again without a word. You hurt him.”
“But not you?” He ran a finger down her nose.
“You told me not to expect anything from you. He deserves more.”
“I am used to dealing with things my way. But by doing what I felt was right I hurt you and him.”
“I know.” Her finger traced a button on his waistcoat, and Ash swore he could feel it on his skin.
“Going after the man who ruined my life has been a burning need inside me since I escaped him. I never wanted or needed help to do that.”
“But now you have it.”
He sighed, then lowered his chin to rest on the top of her head. Ash felt it again, the peace that settled inside him because she was close. Peace, and other emotions he couldn’t identify.
“What do you smell in here, Dorrie?” Her heightened sense intrigued him.
“The musky sweet scent of a pile of leaves, and you.”
“I have a smell?”
“Everyone has a smell. I could close my eyes in a room full of my family and pick each out.”
“Is it hard?” He couldn’t stop touching her. His finger moved lower to trace the curve of her lip.
“Sometimes. Mainly when someone has on too much scent, or I don’t see the manure or other foul-smelling odors on the streets. Cam and I are really good at holding our breath. My family thinks we should have nose pegs.”
He kissed her when she stopped to draw a breath; this time she responded. It was he who eased back.
“You have to understand that for so long I lived for revenge, Dorrie.”
“I know I said it before, but I’m sorry he hurt you, this Radcliff. Sorry that you suffered.”
“Thank you. But because of it I pushed everything but the need to find him aside. Gus had been my only concern, the only person I loved. When he left, I shut him out of my head. I was going into a battle to survive, and you don’t take anything with you in that situation that makes you weak.”
“But now that has changed. You have Gus in your life again. You cannot simply discard him like a dirty rag, Ash.”
“I know that now.”
She looked at him, her eyes holding his as if she could read his thoughts.
