“Well hell,” he muttered.
He didn’t remember getting into his cruiser, or the drive back to his house, but he made it and once there, he pulled on his running shoes and ran as fast and as far as his body would let him. Exhausted, his brain finally too tired to think, he made it back, showered, and fell on his bed. Sleep finally claimed him and with that came visions of Katie.
Chapter Sixteen
Cubby woke to find his mother in his kitchen, cooking him breakfast.
“You don’t have to do that, Mom.”
“I know, but you have a lot on your mind at the moment and I’m worried you’re not eating properly.”
His eyes felt scratchy, his head hurt, so he grunted something, poured himself a cup of coffee, and fell into a chair. How was Katie this morning, he wondered. While he’d run, his anger had slid into shame. He should never have started anything between them, especially knowing how she had once felt about him.
I’m not sure why I’m so unlovable to you, but I’m done punishing myself about it.
Just saying the words had hurt her, and he’d done that, caused her pain, when all she’d ever given him was her love.
“I like Katie McBride.”
His hand jerked and coffee splashed onto his shirt.
“I think she’d make a great wife for you, son.”
He lowered the cup to the table before he ended up with the contents in his lap.
“I’m not the marrying type, you know that.”
“Why?” She turned to look at him, her face genuinely curious.
“You know why.”
“No, I really don’t.” She got down a plate and started loading it with bacon, eggs, and toast.
“I won’t treat a woman like he did you.”
He saw the concern.
“Oh, Cubby, why do you believe you ever could?”
She put the plate down on the table before him, then filled a cup for herself and sat across from him.
“You said it yourself often enough, Mom. I’m like him.”
She was shaking her head, eyes sad. “Only in looks, son; I only ever meant that.”
“Whatever you meant, it doesn’t matter, because I can’t take the chance. I don’t want a woman I care for to suffer like you did.”
She started crying then, soft sniffles that nearly broke his heart.
“Don’t cry, Mom, please,” he said, getting out of his chair to hug her.
“I-I should have left him, I know that now, but I was never strong enough, never sure I could support you boys. I see now what I did to you by staying.”
He left her to get some of the tissues she’d put in his bathroom. Handing them to her, he kissed the top of her head before taking his seat again.
“You could never be your father, Cubby, you’re a hundred times better than the man he was.”
“I hated him so much.” Cubby looked down at the eggs on his plate and felt his stomach roll. “I wanted to kill him. Leigh and I planned it once, but couldn’t carry it out.”
