Katie fell forward onto the bed; he followed, his body blanketing hers, hands linked above her head. Like hers, his heart was thumping hard in his chest. He rolled off, and she turned on her side, facing him. His eyes were shut, so she stayed quiet, watching the tension ease from his body as his breath began to slow and he drifted into sleep. She lay there until she was sure he was out; only then did she lift his legs and turn him so he was lying down the bed. She then washed and cleaned her teeth, shut off the lights, and crawled in bedside him.
She woke first.Looking at the sun coming through the blinds, Katie guessed it was still early. Getting off the bed slowly, she looked down at Cubby. He was on his side, one hand over his head. One leg rested on top of the covers and she took a moment to appreciate his chest before tiptoeing from the room.
After a wash, she pulled on her long-sleeved t-shirt and made some coffee and toast before heading back to check on him. He was sitting up, resting on some pillows, his blue eyes watching her as she walked in. Hair standing off his head, jaw shadowed, he looked like a large dangerous mammal, and someone to be approached carefully.
“Want some coffee?”
“We’ll get to that, but first I need to tell you a few things.”
“Okay.” Katie stayed at the end of the bed, watching him.
“I’m not good at relationships and have avoided them because I didn’t want one… don’t want one,” he added.
Katie didn’t flinch. She’d not expected a declaration of love from this man; he hadn’t wanted her love six years ago, so why would he now? They were scratching an itch in his eyes, and nothing more.
“You don’t need to go there, Cubby. I’m going back to LA as soon as I can, so don’t worry I’m going to cry all over you and beg you to love me until you draw your last breath.” Katie kept her words calm, even managed a smile, which was a great piece of acting as just looking at him made something uncomfortable and warm fill her chest.
Looking at Sheriff Hawker sitting naked in her bed, the realization that she still loved him was not a comfortable one. With startling clarity, Katie now knew this was the real deal. No silly young girl admiration or foolish crush, this was the “till death do we part” kind of love.
You’re an idiot.
She turned away to pull a blind open and closed her eyes briefly. When she turned back, she kept her face blank.
“Good to hear, princess. And I’m only telling you because I need you to understand that what’s between us won’t go anywhere. I don’t want a relationship, don’t need one. No way in hell will I ever be like my father.”
“I’ve just told you it won’t,” Katie said, wondering why she was unlovable to this man, because surely if he felt as she did, nothing would stop him from being with her.
“I know you did, but people say stuff like that and then—”
“You’re not that much of a catch!” Katie flared up at him.
“I just need to know we’re on the same page, princess.”
“Whatever.” Katie refused to rub the burning pain in her chest. “What did you mean about your dad?”
“He was abusive and I have a feeling I could be the same, so I decided long ago to forgo anything serious and concentrate on my career.”
“I didn’t know your father was abusive.” Katie went cold all over at the thought of Cubby and his family being abused.
“He was; more emotional than physical, but sometimes that’s as bad. But the point is I decided long ago not to reproduce.”
“What?” Katie shook her head. “That’s ridiculous. You’re the most kind, generous man I know. You’d hurt yourself before someone else. You’d be a great dad.”
She saw the flash of vulnerability, the pain he’d kept locked inside him at the belief that he was like his father.
“Not happening.”
“Anyone ever accused you of being abusive?”
“No.”
“Ever had a complaint from a woman about your treatment of her?”
He shook his head.
“How old are you, Sheriff?”
“Twenty-nine, as you know, because I’m the same age as your brother.”
