“Whose eyes?”
“Jessie’s.”
“I thought she died in the shooting?”
Cubby had read the report. Jessica Daily, Katie’s friend, bullet to the chest.
“Not instantly.”
Reliving the moment was making the breath rush in and out of Katie’s body. Cubby grabbed her hands and held them tight. “Keep talking.”
“Someone yelled to take cover, so I did, thinking Jessie would follow. But when I looked for her she wasn’t there, and then I saw her.” The words were coming quicker now, one on top of the other. “She was lying with her face turned my way. I saw the blood leaking from her chest. Her eyes were locked on mine and she was mouthing something, I think it was ‘help.’ God.” She pulled a hand free and rubbed her face. “I should have done more.”
“Finish your story, princess.” Cubby ran a hand over her head as he urged her forward so she was on the edge of the chair like him. They were inches apart now.
“I started to stand, my intent to go to her, but there was too much gunfire, and by the time I reached her she was dead.
“It’s okay.” He cupped her face with both hands. “Everything’s going to be okay now, Katie.”
“No”—she shook her head—”I keep seeing her eyes, accusing me, begging me to help her and I didn’t. This stuff shouldn’t be riding me as hard as it is. I’m trained to deal with this, but I can’t get her out of my head, can’t get myself under control.”
“You couldn’t have saved her, Katie, we both know that, and as for the rest, you saw your best friend killed; there’s no training in the world that could prepare you for that.”
“I should have tried harder,” she whispered, looking up at him. The desperation in her eyes made his gut clench.
“You would have been killed if you had.” Cubby knew his words for the truth but saying them made him feel sick. He didn’t want to imagine the pain he and everyone else would have felt had anything happened to this woman.
“I lived and they died; it’s not right—”
“God, I’m glad you did.” Cubby let out a breath.
“Cubby, I can’t close my eyes without seeing her. She’s there waiting for me.”
He brushed the tears from her cheeks, studying each curve and plane of her beautiful face. “You will, princess, you have to trust me on that, but drink is not the answer.”
“How do you know?”
“I shot and killed someone once, and I remember seeing the eyes too. Fixed and staring at me accusingly as I looked down at him. Took me a long time to get over it, but I did so by exercising so hard my body demanded sleep.”
“You think I’m pathetic, don’t you?”
“No, I think you’re human… a very beautiful human, who needs support to get her through this, and she’s in just the right place to get it.”
The hand she lifted to his face shook. Her fingers traced the planes of his cheek.
“I really wanted to be over you.”
He managed a smile as his heart skipped a few beats. “I’m hard to forget.”
They were closer now, her breath mingling with his. She closed the distance.
Chapter Ten
Katie touched his lips with hers, a soft brush and then another. She heard his sigh and then did it again, this time sinking deeper.
He’d found her drunk and pathetic and instead of turning away in disgust, he’d sobered her up and got her to open up about Jessie.
“Katie, be very sure before you go any further, because this can’t be a long-term thing for us.”
