“How do you live in the same household with that woman?” Gabe whispered. But there was no need, as the duchess was giving Fairfax more orders in a loud voice.
“She is my employer, my lord, therefore, I do as she asks.” Her words were cold, impersonal, with no hint of emotion. The smile she’d given Ella was long gone.
“Dimity, I—”
“No.” She shook her head. “We will never mention that again.”
“I need to— “
She cut off his words by walking away, still holding Ella.
They were no longer even adversaries, it seemed. She was to be rigidly polite when in his presence, and he was… what was he to do when faced with the woman who had wrenched more feelings from him than any other person in his life?
Gabe felt a heavy weight settle inside him as he looked at Dimity. He had, for the first time in his life, absolutely no idea what to do.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Dimity held the child close as she followed Fairfax and the duchess. Behind her walked Lord Raine. She would be unfailingly polite when he was near.
I can do this.
Seeing him standing in that doorway holding the child had been like a dagger to her abused heart. He would never hold her child in those big strong hands.
I can do this.
When the duchess stated they were to visit the Deville household, Dimity had managed to mask her immediate horror. She’d told the duchess that Lord Raine could surely have any book she wanted sent to her, so there was no need to go to his house. She’d then strengthened her argument by stating it was not right to enter an all-male household.
“At my age, I can do what I want,” the duchess had replied, and that was that, as far as she was concerned. Dimity had thought about saying she was ill, then thought about falling down the stairs and breaking a bone, but the latter sounded a terribly painful way to avoid a man… even this man. Instead, she’d had a stern talk with herself about being a coward.
“Is she heavy? If so, I can take her.”
“She is fine, thank you, my lord,” Dimity replied.
The little girl rested trustingly against her. How terrifying it all must be for her. To arrive in England and have her father disappear.
“It’s all right, Ella.” Dimity brushed a kiss on her head.
She’d heard that parents would do anything for their children and had to say in that moment she understood why. This was not even her child, but she felt protective toward her.
“Do you think she is well?”
Dimity turned slightly as they walked along a hall and looked into the dark eyes.
“She has no fever and appears only tired. But you should watch her for any signs that changes.”
His eyes ran over her face, settling on her mouth.
“You could never be nothing, Dimity Brown. Always remember that.”
Dimity turned away quickly. Her knees felt suddenly weak. He thought she was something, which made no sense and yet made her warm all over.
“I have no wish to speak of that day or matters pertaining to it. Please respect my wishes, Lord Raine.”
“No.”
She should hate him for what he’d done to her, and yet what had he done? He’d taught her about passion and what could be between a man and woman.
I can do this.
