“How did you know I’d be out here?”
“Maggie told me you hiked in the mornings.”
Betrayal was the only word he could put to what he felt in that moment. She’d betrayed him by sharing information about him with the man she knew he loathed. It left a bitter taste in his mouth and anger swirling in his gut.
“I asked her how to get you to talk to me, and she said that had to be your decision.”
“And then told you I hiked in the mornings.” His words sounded cold.
“No, it wasn’t like that, Fin. I asked her—”
“Whatever. Just say what needs to be said, then go. I have to cover some ground, and it will be too quick for you.” He’d never thought of himself as mean by nature, but he could be, Fin realized.
“I’ll come with you.”
“No, you won’t keep up.”
He watched his father close his eyes briefly.
“I was not having an affair when your mother took that picture.”
“So you say.”
“So I know. Yes, it looked bad, but I never, not once in our married life, betrayed my marriage vows.”
He looked into the face that would one day be his. He’d age just like this man, but he’d be a better person.
“We done?”
“No, we are not!” The words exploded from his father, surprising Fin. His father never raised his voice at his children. “I never pushed this with you because I knew you needed to hate me. Needed someone to blame for what you found that day, but I’m done with that now.”
“I needed my father!” The words shocked them both.
“You didn’t want me. You blamed me, and there was nothing anyone could say to you to change that. I was the villain, end of story. I thought if I gave you time, you’d want to talk to me when you’d calmed down. Want to hear my side of the story, let me love you again.”
“You never tried.”
“Not true.” His father shook his head. “I tried many times. Came to your room, took you driving. I came to your ball games. I did everything I could to show you I cared.”
Fin thought back to that time. Slowly he remembered. He’d turn and find his father in the stands at a game, but he’d ignore him and go home with someone else. Sometimes he’d try and talk to Fin about his games, or school, he’d ignored him. He’d blocked those things out of his head; strange how they were all coming back to him now.
“When you started on the crime and drug taking, I knew there was no way I could reach you, so I sent you away before you killed yourself or ended up in prison. I thought after that you’d come home, and you did, but you were a stranger. We lived in a house together, but you weren’t there, not emotionally. Then one day I came home and you’d gone. The note said to Ryker Falls. And this is where you stayed.”
“I missed her,” Fin said softly.
“I know. I missed her too. I loved her so much. I was numb and cold inside when she died. I blamed myself too, and when I saw that blame echoed in your eyes it was doubly hard.”
Fin looked at the man he’d once worshipped. The man who had seemed so big and strong. The man who had played ball with him and read stories in crazy voices each night before bed.
He loved me.
He’d blocked all the good out and filled in those empty places inside with the bad and angry.
Was he wrong to have held on to this for so long? His father had lost his wife, the woman he loved, and Fin had pushed him aside without giving him a chance to explain.
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
“You don’t, but I’m not sure why I’d hold on to a lie for so long when it would gain me little now. You hate me; that’s not about to change anytime soon.”
