“Clean? Dressed well?”
“OTT about appearance, and let’s not get started about that shit you have going on with food.”
Faith snorted out a laugh. “Yes, let’s not start about that.”
“What’s wrong with my food habits?” Noah followed Buster, Willow, and Faith around the house.
“Your food doesn’t touch on your plate, and you eat way too much green shit,” Buster said. “Then there’s that whole healthy existence thing.”
“Food touches on my plate,” Noah insisted, knowing that in fact he didn’t like it to, but he managed to override that most of the time. “And green shit is good for you. Plus, I like to dress well and be healthy, no harm in any of that.”
“No harm at all,” Willow agreed. “I like a smoothie in the morning with a lot of leafy green stuff in it.”
“There’s harm in it if it’s excessive,” Buster added. “And you’re pregnant, you need leafy greens.” He pointed to his wife.
“I’m not excessive!”
“You are a bit.” Faith threw Noah under the bus. “I mean, your room….” She waved a hand about and made a noise that had Noah wanting to lunge at her.
“It’s clean!” Noah’s voice rose.
“And then some,” she muttered. “And you still have your shoes in the boxes.”
“You can’t see the carpet in yours!” His voice rose further. “And I like to keep my shoes unscuffed. Plus, the boxes make it easier to stack them.”
“I have what I like to call a floor storage system,” Faith added. “I know where everything is that way.”
“You’re a pig, is what you are.”
“She’s normal,” Buster added. “All we’re saying, bud, is you need to lighten up on that kind of thing. We’re never marrying you off if you don’t.”
“You’re all assholes,” Noah said, because he had nothing else. “Sorry, Willow, not you.”
She just smiled and hugged him again. “Pay them no mind. Buster is sleep deprived, and Faith is your twin, so basically it’s her life’s work to torment you.”
Willow’s words made him feel better. He was normal, or maybe just a little to the right of it at least, but he did like order, and maybe he liked healthy food but that didn’t make him odd.
“I’ll live longer than all of you,” he muttered as they rounded the end of the house.
They were hit with noise. Music, people talking, and kids squealing and running about the place, which suggested they’d been into the sugary food already.
“You ready for this, Buster?” Noah said. “I can see any child of yours being loud and squeaky-sounding.”
“Don’t.” His friend paled. “Girls and that squealing. You remember Annabelle, Macy, and Faith in school?”
“And their friends.”
“Yup. My ears were constantly ringing.”
Noah slapped him on the back. “You’ll be sweet if you have a girl, just do that snarl you have down.”
“Uncle Buster, Uncle Noah!” Rose shrieked and ran at them after greeting Willow and Faith.
“Hey there, birthday girl.” Noah picked her up and hugged her close. Buster leaned in and planted a loud kiss on her cheek.
“We’re having a party!”
“No way, I never would have guessed.” Noah lowered her to the ground, and she sprinted off with three little girls, all squealing.
