“Is that clearing big enough?” Macy looked through the trees.
“Let’s hope so.”
He led her to a hollow in a fallen tree that they could squeeze inside and not be seen, unless someone was directly in front of them. They would hear the helicopter as it drew close.
“It's a tight fit.” Macy wiggled in, and Brad followed. His large body took up most of the room. “I'm suffocating now.”
His hands lifted her, then relocated her between his thighs.
“Better?”
Not really, she thought, trying to calm her breathing. The hard planes of his chest felt warm against her back, and she inhaled and exhaled a few times and then let herself lean in to him.
“So, about this pie club. Who else is in it?”
“Just Jake,” Macy said, resting her head under his chin.
“You want in?”
His arms settled around her, enclosing her in all that solid warmth.
“No, I'm a steak pie girl. Chicken is for losers.”
His rumble of laughter made her smile.
“See, told you you were a tough girl.”
“I've always had people do things for me, Brad. My parents had money and I was an only child and my mother gave me everything I wanted.”Except love, Macy thought. “When I went to school I had friends who did stuff for me too.”
“Minions, I believe they are called.”
“Yes, and I was a bitch, Brad. I was nasty and mean, and said and did horrible things, and I still feel the sting of shame when I think about that now.”
“But you changed, and that's the important point here.”
“I never had any aspirations, just to be a mother and set up my house with my husband who would take over looking after me. Boy, did I get that wrong.”
His arms tightened briefly.
“I'm sorry he was an asshole and treated you badly, honey.”
“I should have been strong enough to break away, but the shame kept me quiet.” Macy thought about those long, painful years where she lived in pain and isolation. She had been so cold inside, and managed to hide away her fears and feelings behind a brittle façade.
“Shame?”
She felt the blanket settle around her body.
“Shame that the life I had bragged about wasn’t real. Shame that I was worthless and let a man treat me no better than a slave in my own home. Shame that if I did speak out, no one would believe me, because who would care.”
Maybe it was because she couldn't see his face, or that soon he'd be gone from her life, but the words she usually kept hidden deep inside, seemed easier to say here and now.
“I had shame too.” His voice was a low rumble as he told her what she doubted he’d told anyone else. “I realized just what I had become one day. The monster I had allowed my father to turn me into.”
“But you’re not that monster now, Brad.”
“No, and I never will be again.”
“Just like I will never be a victim.”
