“No safe place. Not there. Not anywhere. Because wherever you go there you are, still. Can’t outrun yourself. Your fuck-ups.”
“Brian, please. Get yourself into rehab, okay? Maybe they can show you how to stop running.”
Brian suddenly lurched forward and pulled Brianna into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, sis. Never wanted to hurt you.” He sobbed into her hair.
Brianna blinked back tears and failed. She hugged her brother. “I love you, Brian. Get help. Please. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Okay. Okay, I will.”
“Tonight?”
“Yeah. Tonight, sis.” He finally pulled away and backed up toward the open end of the pavilion. “I love you, Brianna. Stay well.” He turned and disappeared into the crowd.
“I love you, too,” she called, not knowing if he’d heard. She looked back at Brock. “I should go after him, make sure—”
“Babe.” He cupped her face. “Let him go. You can’t change what he’ll do or won’t do. You never could.”
Brianna let herself come apart. Brock was there to hold her together.
“Cry it out, baby,” he whispered into her hair as he laid his cheek against the top of her head. His strong arms enveloped her and she cried hard against his chest. She cried for everything she had and everything she didn’t, and for all the times she misunderstood which was which. She cried until she felt emptied out of sorrow and regret.
And once she was empty, she had room for new feelings to pour in. Confidence, love, understanding. But could she trust it?
Chapter 20
His woman was ashamed and that wouldn’t stand with Brock.
Fiddle case in one hand, his in the other, Brianna kept her head down as they made their way through the crowd to the line of food stalls. Even when someone recognized her from her performances and gave her a shout-out, she only glanced up and gave back a half-hearted smile.
Brock made a request to keep an eye out for Brian Taylor over his comm. He still wanted to talk to him about Jerold Glass, but at the moment, Brianna was his priority.
“Talk to me, babe. What’s going on in your head?”
“I’m fine,” she chirped.
“You are nowhere near fine. Now talk to me.”
“What could possibly be wrong, Brock? The first time you see my brother he’s carrying a gun illegally and drunk off his ass. Then when you meet my parents, they’re high as kites.”
He kept his voice light. “So? They aren’t you, Bri. Besides, show me someone who isn’t high at this festival right now.”
“You, me, and all the parents who have kids here, that’s who. Except formyparents.”
Brock stopped Brianna and made her face him. “Drop them.”
She squinted at him and pursed her lips. “Drop what?”
“Drop all your misconceptions and insecurities about yourself and stop trying to pin them on me. I’m not taking them.”
She bit her lower lip. “I don’t even know how to begin doing that.” She frowned. “And I amnottrying to pin them on you.”
“Yeah, babe, you are.” He tipped her chin up. “Every time you feel bad about yourself or your family, you automatically assume that’s how I feel toward you. And you’ve been wrong every single time. Listen, we just had a moment in there, a good one. You know in the deepest corner of your heart that I love and respect you, that I think the world of you. So I’m not going to put up with you being mean to yourself and then trying to make me the bad guy for it.”
“That’s ridiculous. I’m not.”
Brock just laughed. “And they callmeBadger. I should give youmynickname instead of the other one.”
“What do you mean?” Her frown faded as curiosity filled her eyes.
