Kyle grabbed their mugs of eggnog. “To Alan Rickman,” he said. They clinked and drank.
In between movies, they talked. Kyle raved about his job at Watchdog Security. He really loved working with the dogs, both Watchdog’s and the ones the public brought in for training, and his co-workers helped bring him up out of his shame after leaving the military. His bosses had kept his OTH discharge private from his co-workers, and Arden thought that even if they did know, they’d still accept him. She tried to tell him that, but he clearly wasn’t ready to share that part of his life with anyone else yet, nor could he really.
And when he prodded her to talk about her brother, Arden stepped carefully around the land mines. Why ruin Christmas? Why not stay in this perfect little snow globe they’d created together, where everything was as she wanted it to be?Just for today. Let tomorrow come tomorrow.
It was the best Christmas she’d ever had, and a far better Christmas than she thought she’d ever have again. Perfection.
Except Kyle kept checking his phone.
Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach.He’s looking at flights to California. Why would he look so serious otherwise? He caught her watching him and smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
Is he really thinking of leaving?she wondered, then admonished herself for such a stupid thought. Of course he was. He had a home and a life in California, a job that gave him purpose. He wasn’t a stray, any more than Camo was a stray. She had no right to expect Kyle to give up his life and stay just for her. He’d actually checked his phone several times and texted pretty intensely. They’d had fun last night and shared a deep connection, but maybe she’d fallen deeper than he had, and he was ready to go home.
Could they make a long-distance relationship work? Arden didn’t think so. She didn’t have time to take vacations from the ranch. It consumed her life, ever since her parents died. She’d set aside her plans, her own dreams. But in return, she had deep roots and a legacy. She’d never sell and move to California, either. And Kyle’s job sounded busy, especially once he returned.
Which brought her back to their central issue—who would keep Camo? They could hardly put the dog on a plane back and forth every other week. But the thought of being alone again was too dark to contemplate. As long as she had Camo, she wasn’t alone in the world.
Camo and Kyle.
“You’re thinking some deep thoughts, babe, I can see it on your face.” It was after dinner and Kyle sat at the kitchen table, his phone back in his hand. Camo lay curled and snoring at his feet.
Tears blurred her vision as the pain crashed through the thin walls of her perfect snow globe. “I’m thinking how nothing’s changed. Nothing at all.”
Sixteen
Bam. A sniper couldn’t have done a better job of stopping Kyle’s heart.
“What do you mean, nothing’s changed? Everything’s changed, Arden. I love you.” Did last night and Christmas day mean nothing to her? Was he the only one who’d fallen in love in this relationship? She was The One for him. Or so he’d thought.
“No.” Arden had gone pale. She stood trembling in the kitchen, her arms wrapped around her body. “Camo is mine. He is not leaving the ranch, he is not going to California again, he is staying put this time where it’s safe.”
“Arden.” God, she’d gone far away in her mind. It was bound to happen, considering he’d opened up and shared with her his war stories. Now it was her turn if he could gently coax her. “What do you meanagain?Camo’s actually never been to California.”
She looked surprised, her lips slightly parted. Then she pressed her lips into a firm straight line. “Nothing, I… I just figured he had.”
“You’ve been to California though. San Diego and you hated it.” Kyle looked around the ranch house as if seeing it for the first time. “Arden. Whereisyour brother?”
“I’ll come apart,” she whispered.
Kyle was up and across the room in a flash, Camo on his heels. He wrapped Arden in his arms. “I won’t let that happen. I’ve got you. You can tell me. It’s okay to let go. Youneedto let go.”
“He’s…” She looked down, shaking her head. A teardrop hit the floor. “I lied. Okay?” She lifted her head and nodded, lower lip sucked in, looking everywhere but at Kyle. “I lied. He’s been here the whole time.” Her eyes met Kyle’s. “They sent him home three months ago. Come on. I’ll show you.”
Arden turned in his arms. She held his hand as they made their way down the hall to a door she’d kept closed. Kyle had assumed it was her brother’s bedroom. When she opened the door and flicked on the light, the first thing Kyle saw was the neatly-made bed, a blue-plaid quilt smoothed down over it. Then his eyes went straight to the American flag folded into a triangle and resting on the pillow.
She followed his gaze. “They gave me that at the memorial service. Along with his…his ashes. And a letter he’d written to me and given to a buddy to pass on in the event that…thishappened.”
She pointed to a photograph on the dresser. A man with Arden’s gray eyes and blond hair gazed proudly from the photo, his military dress uniform looking spotless and perfect.
“That’s Sean. That’s my brother. I haven’t opened the letter from him yet.” Arden’s tears rolled down her cheeks. “It’s like, as long as I don’t open it, he’ll still come home. But it also means we’re still fighting. Last time I ever spoke to Sean, we argued over the ranch. Rick Muir had shown up in the spring with promises of outrageous money if we’d all sell. I flat-out refused, but Sean disagreed. He wanted me to sell, so that I could be free of this place. He never understood.”
“Understood what, baby?” Kyle maneuvered Arden out of her brother’s room and down the hall then settled her on the bed while she talked.
“Understood that I didn’t mind the sacrifice I made to keep the ranch. He wanted the best for me, he always did.” Arden wiped at her tears and Kyle grabbed a tissue from a box on her nightstand. He held her, rocking her gently as she talked. Camo jumped on the bed and rested his head on her lap. “It’s just that he thought he knew what was best for me. So we got into some pretty epic arguments.”
Kyle already knew Sean’s story—or at least the end of it—from what Nash had been able to dig up. They’d been looking in the wrong place. Kyle now knew that Sean had never become a SEAL. He knew what Sean became instead and that he was KIA, though he didn’t know any of the details. But, Arden needed to get the story out for her own sake. Maybe Kyle could do for Arden what she’d done for him; do what no one else had—give her a safe place to let go and grieve.
“What sacrifice did you make that he didn’t understand?”
