“We’ll see,” he said, opening his eyes and pulling back from her warmth.
“She asked me to do one thing. One stupid little, absolutely critical thing, and I blew it off. She told me her car was acting weird. I asked her to explain and she couldn’t, just that it felt weird when she drove it. It was an older car, she’d had it since college. I thought…fuck me, but I thought she was angling for a new one. I told her we’d go shopping for a new car when I got back, that she could suck it up and drive my truck in the meantime, even though she was a tiny thing and hated driving my truck ever since she misjudged her parking and bumped a light post in a parking lot. Fuck me twice, I’d teased her about it until she wouldn’t dream of driving it again.
“And so she smiled. She just fucking smiled and nodded, and I ignored that the smile was a tired one, a defeated one. I was a dick. Instead of taking her seriously, instead of taking the damn car for a drive around the block and realizing that not only was something wrong, but it was bad, I blew her off. And the next day, I kissed my exhausted wife and my tiny helpless baby girl goodbye.”
“Oh, no.” Elena’s voice was barely above a breath.
“I did my job.” Camden shook his head. “I did my fucking job, and in the middle of the night, in the middle of the fucking desert, I got the call that military families Stateside dread getting above all others. My wife, the love of my life, and my baby girl, were both dead. It was the brakes. They went out at the worst possible time. She was on a hill and she couldn’t stop. She hit a semi, and the driver, that poor son of a bitch, blames himself for not seeing her in time. But it wasn’t his fault. The cops who investigated the accident, the witnesses, they all said she was in his blind spot anyway.
“It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t even her fault. It was mine. It was mine for being a selfish coward who expected to be taken care of, then ran away from the people who loved and depended on him. I have no other excuse.”
He closed his eyes, ashamed to even look at Elena. Long, silent moments passed while he waited for her verdict.
Finally, she spoke. “I have one question.”
“What is it?”
“Do you still feel like running away?”
He opened his eyes. “Running away?”
Her face was a blank mask. “Yeah, Camden. Running away from the people who love you. Because my gut says no, you don’t. It’s telling me that you’ve learned the hardest lesson there is to learn, and now you’re not a man who would run away anymore. That you wouldn’t have told me all this if you planned on turning tail right after. That you’ve learned to trust, not just in the people who love you, but in yourself. Trust that you’re strong enough and worthy of forgiveness—from yourself. But, I need to hear that out loud from you. Because I’ve got my own fears, my own ghosts, that I’m fighting, and if you can’t say out loud that you’re not going to run again, those fears are going to win.”
She took his face in her hands. “And, baby, I’m only fighting them so that I can have you.”
Oh, my God, my beauty. My strong, courageous woman. My lady of mercy. “I’m not gonna run from you. I’m not gonna run from Tina, not ever. I was dead serious when I promised that I’m going to help you do the heavy lifting. I’m going to be right by your side, giving you whatever support you need. Protecting you and Tina from whatever shit life’s gonna deal, and it’s gonna deal us some, probably sooner rather than later.”
He clasped her hands in his. “From the moment I gave Tina back to you in Nebraska, I knew, I fuckingknew, that it was the two of you I’d been running towards. Because I was ready. I was ready to sort my shit, but I needed someone strong to help me. And you’re still the strongest person I know, Elena Martinez. I saw it then, and you’ve only gotten stronger since.”
Eighteen
He called her strong, when she’d been nothing but weak all evening, afraid of facing her own fears.
And she still couldn’t, not her deepest one. Not the one that had kept her lonely ever since Antonio died. Especially now, with Camden working security for the Bennetts. Elena needed to talk to him about that, and she would, just not right now. First, she needed to show this sweet, strong, vulnerable man how much he meant to her. Not in spite of what he’d just told her, but because of it. She could see the doubt still lingering in his eyes, and all she wanted to do was kill it so that Camden would finally have the room to forgive himself.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “Coming from you, calling me strong is high praise.”
“It’s the truth.”
Elena wiggled in Camden’s lap and kissed his throat. “Now that we’re done talking, I think earlier on the phone we’d discussed something else happening tonight.”
Camden’s eyes lit up in surprise. “Do you…I mean…”
“I’ve been thinking about nothing else all day. Now, where were we?”
“Since the last time we were on your couch,” he growled as he pulled her in tight. “This seems about right.”
“Aboutright, yes, I agree. But not quite.” Elena grinned.
“Not quite?” His eyes held the question,what am I doing wrong?
“Nope, not quite.”Can I do this?Yes,she answered herself. It’s time. Beyond time. “Absolutelyright would be if we continued this in my bedroom.”
Camden’s eyes went round. “Are you sure? What about Tina? She might…what if she…?” God, his blush was adorable. “What if we accidentally wake her up?”
“The way she was rubbing her eyes, she’s probably already conked out. I think she was over-tired and that’s part of why she had a meltdown. Besides, the main bathroom and mine are between the bedrooms. They’ll help block any, um, sounds we might make.”
Camden gave her a wicked grin. “No ‘might’ about it, Gorgeous.” He leaned in to her ear. “I’m gonna enjoy every sigh, every gasp, every moan that comes out of your sweet little mouth. And I’m gonna give as good as I get.” Bad enough that his growl soaked her panties, the tug he gave her earlobe with his soft lips did her jeans in, too.
