Rachael sighed. “I will neither deny nor confirm that.”
“But I bet you do. I bet you have a secret notebook, one you’ve kept for years, and I’d double the pot that it’s full of all the amazing songs that play behind those gorgeous eyes of yours.”
Rachael’s stomach flip-flopped. “Don’t be silly. You make me sound like an angsty teenager.”
“I’m right, though.”
This was getting dangerous. Rachael held up one finger to silence Jake. She got up and turned on the radio that she knew would garble their conversation. She’d found the bug Daddy used in her office long ago.
Jake watched her with a questioning look until she sat down again. She lowered her voice, just in case. “Right about the notebook? Maybe.”
“I’m right about all of it.” He lowered his voice, matching hers. He leaned in. “Your songs. They’re full of the truth, aren’t they?”
“They’re full of blackbirds,” she whispered.
“What does that mean?”
Rachael shook her head to clear it. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
Could she tell him what the blackbirds meant without flying apart? The way she and her mother found them one day? How they’d come to mean so much more, and to haunt her.
“My mom, she used to sing “Blackbird” to me when I was little. When I couldn’t sleep because I was afraid.” Rachael shook her head—this was too much. “Like every kid’s afraid, you know?”
“I know. I used to be afraid of the dark.”
Rachael looked into his eyes. He wasn’t joking. “I was, too. I still am, sometimes.”
Jake picked up her pen and handed it back to her. “Take this and keep writing. Angel, the world needs those songs. Needs your voice to sing them. Even if you never want to go out with me again, and hey, I don’t blame you after,” he jerked his chin toward the floor below, “but, you need, for the world’s sakeandyour own, to keep going to Bill’s to sing.”
Rachael fought back sudden burning tears. “Stop it.”
“Stop what?” Jake’s deep, sexy voice tore up her insides. She didn’t deserve this kindness.
“Stop being…stop…I wish you were yelling at me instead. Why can’t you just yell at me like everyone else? Or hit me—”
Jake’s eyes filled with anger. “Rachael, you shut that bullshit downright now. I’dnever—”
“—because this…you being kind to me…hurtsmore.” Rachael covered her face. Why couldn’t he just go away and leave her? Save himself from her fucked-up self. Maybe now he would. She expected to hear the door open and close.
Instead, she felt his strong warm hands take hers and gently lower them. She expected him to keep talking, to justify his words, his actions, to tell her how wrong she was, all to make himself feel better. She stared down at the desktop and waited. In the continuing silence, she lifted her gaze to his. Nothing but patience there in his eyes, and a question.
She licked lips that had gone terribly dry. “I can’t handle it when you’re kind to me. I don’t know what to do with the sincerity in your eyes, the gentleness in your voice. No man’s even talked to me like this.”
“Angel,” he whispered. “That is a crime.”
Rachael shrugged. “It’s the water I swim in. But there’s something else with you. You’re…it’s like you’re two different people. One is kind and funny, observant and smart. He seems like a good man. I like that man. A lot. I could really fall for that guy, hard. But then the minute I start to trust that man, he makes me doubt. He goes to Muddy’s, he pals around with Hank, he has anger issues and fights…” Rachael trailed off, remembering the brawl downstairs. Only, it wasn’t a brawl, not really. Not for one second did Jake seem out of control or even angry.Wait…
“You staged it. You set Hank up.” Rachael took her hands out of Jake’s and folded them in her lap. Not only had Jake used Hank’s physical force against him—he’d been using Hank’s own temper and arrogance the same way, ever since Muddy’s. Hell, probably longer than that.But to what end? “I don’t know why you did it. I thought you wanted a new start.”
“I do.” Jake tensed his jaw, relaxed it. “I don’t like fighting, but you’re right, I did figure Hank would go after me this morning, and that it would give me the perfect opportunity to get rid of him. Rachael, I don’t have to tell you that he’s dangerous for you to have around.”
Rachael practically snorted. “You think?”
“I wasn’t gonna put up with his bullshit, seeing him threaten you, a minute longer. You couldn’t do anything, your father didn’twantto do anything, so I took matters into my own hands.”
And ruined my chances of finding the accounting book. “There are things at work here that you don’t understand—”
