Captured Promises Broken Dreams ?????????????
Evangelina
There is a heaviness in my head when I finally get the strength to peel my eyes open.
My mouth feels like it’s been stuffed with cotton. My tongue is thick and, eww, my breath — horrible.
“You’re awake.” A low rumble from my right has my head turning in that direction.
Riyu, sits like a wraith in the corner far from me as if he has to keep himself a safe distance so he won’t murder me. And from the look in his eyes, I can tell it’s taking everything in him not to do it. They eat up every movement as if tracking me like prey.
He white-knuckle grips the arm of the chair he’s sitting in. The light is dim as it hits his countenance just so. I can see the way his chiseled jaw flexes like his grinding glass.
“What the fuck did you do to our baby, Ev?” The words tears out of him swirling and vicious like a tsunami.
Clutching the spear of pain slicing through my heart like the Katana he prefers, I gasp. Sharp pain pricks my eyes. I can’t stand to look at him. I dare not too. Guilt eats at me. I turn fromhim, just needing a moment. But I can’t even have that. Hard fingers grab my face, pinching, angry, not letting me escape the visceral hatred in his gaze.
“I guess I have my answer.” Disgust crowds his gaze and laces every word as he refuses me any reprieve.
“No.” I try to pull away, but he hold, me tight, not letting me retreat. “You have it all wrong.” I manage through the hard grip of his fingers. “You’re hurting me, Ri.”
He watches me dispassionately, like he frankly couldn’t give a fuck — as if it’s his intention to do so much more if I give him a reason to.
“Yeah? Then explain it to me. I know you were pregnant when you left me. Now you aren’t.” He’s so quick to release me I fall back against the pillows as if shoved.
He’s already turning, but I can tell he saw through his periphery what he did, yet he doesn’t bother to stop. Putting more distance between us, he stands near the door of the bedroom. Waiting for my words. Words I’m not sure I can utter. Words I’m not sure he will believe.
“I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was miscarrying.” My words sound dead. I feel dead inside. Have since the moment the nice lady doctor told me it wasn’t just my endometriosis making me have such a horrible period, but I was actually losing our baby.
The devastation I felt in that moment, the guilt and shame has ridden me everyday since.
“Dr. Akino says I was lucky to have come in when I did, or I would have probably hemorrhaged to death.” I watch emotions play across his face, but none that give me comfort.
Anger, scorn, and the gut punch of anguish all play across his beautiful face. I want to reach out.
Instead, my fingers curl into the counterpane as I watch his face slowly transform into an emotionless block of ice.
“I’m so sorry Ri?—”
“Don’t speak my fucking name.” He spits out with utter contempt dripping from the words.
“She said there was nothing we could do. I had too much endometrial tissue. I had a second procedure to remove it.” I say, watching him take in all the information I’m giving with a stony expression.
“Convenient.” He muses on an exhale. “Tell me, wife was this before you had the IUD placed?”
“Before.” I say in a small voice. Clearing my throat, I add in a firmer voice.“I-I didn’t want to go through that again anytime soon. It was my decision to make.”
He nods, his eyes skewering me like I used to sometimes see the native Hawaiians do the fish near the cove where I lived.
“As it was mine to have it removed.” The blithe reply slicing through the room with finality.
At his words, I notice the changes in my body. The pain low in my abdomen, the feel of the pad and wetness that must be from bleeding.
“You had no fucking ri?—”
“I have every right.” He snarls in cold, hard tones. “You gave me that right when you ran from me like a fucking coward, putting yourself in jeopardy.”
Gaze flicking over me like I’m an insect under a microscope and he’s a mad scientist, he assesses me with a cool detachment, causing my tummy to cramp with fear.
